In the realm of things I don’t believe in coincidences, everything happens for a reason and with an intention to make itself manifest with an specific purpose. I always wanted to be mom and by God’s grace I was blessed to be one. Even when the days get tougher as the time goes by, I’m thankful for this priviledge. Many times I feel like giving up, but there is no turning back on those you love and there is always faith that it will get better. It has to do more with the way I expect things to move along than with the crude reality that I have no control over what happens in life. Nothing is perfect and ideal, we need to work with the imperfect being that we are and learn to accept that our kids are included in that group.
Today I was aware of my whole being and how it affects everything that sorrounds me, including my family. Moms usually set the tone of the family and mine hasn’t been too great lately. Emotions, changes and challenges have set my life in turmoil, not an easy sea to navigate, that’s for sure. Many times I go mainly by instinct and hope. I encountered -among other things- an entry blog that reminded me of a truth, never give up. In life there are many moments when we think that all is lost, especially while we are raising our children. As soon as they begin to make their own mind and decisions we fear they will make the wrong choices. Communications tends to break down and it’s suddenly restored when we least expect it, and I’m so glad when it does.
Exposing our own vulnerability and accepting that we are not as perfect as they think, opens the door for them to talk to us. They are able to relate at a certain level, they even listen to what we have to say every once in a while. I guess they realize that we were young at one time of our life, that what they have seen and known is not all about us. They even have fun when they find out that we did the same crazy things they do now or worst, and learn to use it against us. Even though they claim that these are different times (don’t I know it!) the core of the situations and attitudes they should have in life are the same.
I noticed how the attitudes I try to instill in my children are subtle reminders of the same attitudes I should have in life. So I guess to a point this is a refresher course of how to live plus the experiences I had along the way. As I enter yet another stage of my life, I enter it along with my children in order not to get lost in the maze that this whole process puts me in. I desperately need to go through this process alone, but at the same time it is a relief that every once in a while I’m forced to unplug in order to deal with something or someone else. So I’m not giving up just yet, neither on me or them. I’m sure better times will come and at the same time I will expect that nothing will forever stay the same, if it did, I would be dead.
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Clary Lopez, author of Simplicity, Richness of Life
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