Happy birthday to me

13 11 2014

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I opened my eyes this morning and breathed deeply. It is a different sensation when I finally realize that I came out to the other side of the long tunnel and unto the light. It was a long and difficult journey, one that felt unending at times and that made me shed so many tears. It was all necessary to become stronger, to push me to the next level and let me be the creator of my own life.

Along the way I always had angels in disguise to comfort, console, guide, support, inform, and assist at any given moment. I was never alone and for that I thank God. Today is my birthday because my new state in life begins and it is up to me to make better choices and to paint my life with lots of colors. I want to shine on my own and to extend myself to others in positive and inspirational ways.

I will always pray for that person that was part of my life, after all I don’t wish the same I lived and endure for him. Today we start our new life, unbound from each other and all I hope is that we make it better the second time around.

So raise your cup with me and celebrate this special moment in which I feel peace and I begin to walk on new and unknown path. May the joy awaits me and God gives me the wisdom to choose better the next time around, if there is another time around… Cheers!!





Mix emotions in growth

3 11 2014

I am dying… I soon will be reborn. Is never easy to step away from the known, into the unknown. Even when the known part you know was not worth it. During the process of a divorce that grips your life for years because the other for whatever reason won’t let go of the other’s life is a very exhausting process. One might think if it is even worth even think about it again but then again comes the heart and the emotions and our human need to be loved, treasured and cherished. Does that really exists? I know that exists with God because he is the only one with me during this process, no earthly man compares to that love. I pray for that kind of love at an earthly level but it hasn’t arrived. I wonder and hope… I cry and I laugh, I run and I lay down, it is all in God’s precious time.

I feel dying at times of solitude, at times when I need a strong embrace, times when all I need is to feel safe and protected and that all my tears are wiped away. Does goodness goes unrewarded while abuse and humiliation gets its reward? How much can a human being can take? I guess I must see myself on the cross to get the answer. I wish it not to be so, and that somewhere in this world my answer might be glancing at my words. I can only hope and move on not focusing on the emotions and continue to grow because if I don’t, I die and evil will win. It doesn’t have to be so.