No Bull

29 10 2010

I was watching the Jane Fonda interview with Oprah this week and could identify with her, I guess every woman can. Stages in life are inevitable, I’m on my Second Act, like she called it. The hardest one, but I want to get to where she is now at 72. I wonder if you can get to that mentality sooner than that though. It is the age when you don’t take no bull from anything or anyone anymore. You are strong on your two feet knowing who you are and what you need. You make excuses for nobody and move forward.

I need to get her book, I have the feeling it will light up my mind and help me through. Thank God I taped that show, that one is a keeper.

Today’s State

11 03 2010

Today I feel anxious. Should I have told so much? Sometimes I wonder. I feel urged to share my experiences -good or bad- with my kids but then again I wonder if I shouldn’t. I am not perfect even though I wish I was, and maybe they thought I was. I don’t think is a good thing, I think they should know that I am human and that I have done some stupid things that taught me valuable lessons. Danger is everywhere and the magnitude seems bigger now than when I was their age. I just want them to be aware and not to think that it won’t happen to them because that might not be the case. Or should i wait until something happens? It is a hard call for a parent.

I hope that they don’t think or see me differently because of my confessions. I hope to drive them closer to me. Who knows, maybe that is why I am anxious right now, because I don’t know. I wish there was a manual for parents but it is such a complex process.

Motivated not Manipulated

3 01 2010

Everyone has their dreams and desires, everyone wants something from their life and expect certain things from others when in reality all we are entitled to is NOTHING. Really, my life is a long list of expectations from myself, my family and friends. No more, I will not be manipulated into anything unless I feel I am ready to move forward and I won’t say anything that I don’t really mean to make someone happy.

Brand New

29 12 2009

The end of the year approaches and with it the thoughts, purpose and desires to make it better than the last. New year resolutions are ancient traditions we have tried to practice year after year. I say try because sometimes we fail to accomplish everything we set out to do. I think is has to do with looking at our circumstances realistically and not measuring our commitments accurately, it happen to me many times.

I believe all of us have changed tremendously in the past few years, our hard economic situations has brought us back to the basics and many are starting all over again. We have learned what is truly important and dispose of what is not. We are concentrating our energy in learning more about ourselves and what we are really supposed to do in life. We are finding new meaning and value in the gifts God has given us and are utilizing them for our benefit. We are more aware of our surroundings and what is going on in this world in order to find the flow we should go this time around and survive.

This year my whole life changed and I’ve been on a completely new terrain that God set before me. For a while I did not know in which capacity I would be able to contribute in the regular work force; all I knew what to do was to raise a family, teach my kids, write and work from home. I had no worries. When the storm came all of that changed in a flash and it was obvious my life would never be the same even if I wanted to. Change is the word of the present moment and one I am trying to get accustomed to since I have been so used to stability. I have to admit it is scary at times but as the time goes by I realize it is a necessary evil in order to move forward. It is not easy to change outlooks and habits, it is painful at times. If I am learning something this year is to go more with my intuition, looking back I noticed how many times I ignored it and that is the reason why so many of my heartaches spring forth. I know I’m not the only one who does this, most of us think that those things are childish and that you only do it when you are young and have no responsibilities, at least I did. We should not change so dramatically when we decide to share our life with someone else, there is no need to recreate something that was real. There should always be a mutual respect and admiration for who we are and what we stand for and encourage the other to grow in all directions in order to accomplish a common goal with gladness.

In 2010 I know there will be a lot of stretching, fine tuning and adjusting, it already began. It will be a year to face fears, to take risks and chances, to embrace who I truly am and love it. It will be a chance to be innocent again without the thought that is childish. It will be a year to be true to myself and not try to tone down who I am to please anyone. It will the year that if someone loves me will embrace me just the way I am, without being ashamed or threaten by it.

How do you think your 2010 would look like? What changes are you going to make?

I wish all of you a great 2010, one that shines beyond your imagination!!

And What About Grandma

9 10 2009


Time have changed so many things, one of them I believe is the way we see our grandmas. I remembered when visiting or receiving grandma at our home it was always a joyous occasion. I loved the way she listened to me and the special little things she would sometimes bring me, most of them were little and very inexpensive but just to know she thought of me was enough.

Life has become a place where you live where you can survive and not where you want to be. Families used to live closed to each other throughout their life and in that process they saw each other grow up and helped one another when needed. I won’t paint a rosie picture of the whole experience because sometimes there were moments you wished they were far away but grandmas somehow made things alright.

It breaks my heart to hear of grandmas being placed in nursing homes and then forgotten by their families. I realize that life moves so rapidly that before you know it your day is all gone; between work, house work, the kids, your spouse and all the activities you are lucky to have time for yourself. The days go by and grandma waits lonely in a cold room far away from all she holds dear, thinking that today maybe is the day she gets that visit, that call and nights fall down. Another day without you. She wonders why, how and for how long she will have to endure the pain and sorrow in her heart. Better days come to mind as her tears roll down her cheeks and wonder… If the grandma happens to be Hispanic and her kids moved to the United States now she has another barrier that keeps her faraway from her family, the language. It is so sad to see parents who replace their native language for the one they are living around now and don’t take the time and effort to teach their language to their kids. When grandma comes they can’t even talk anymore and they long to get to know them.

I thank God I lived in a generation that had the blessing to enjoy grandmas and that I had the chance to be with them a lot, I knew them and they knew me. They taught me their favorite dishes and made me my favorite food. I called them when I was far away and told them how much I missed and loved them. I also wrote letters to them. I played, I cried, I laughed and I grew to be who I am because of them. I learned by their mistakes and by their advice, and I was in awe when I heard all they went through. There is not a moment I did not want to be with them, even on their death bed and I will forever love and carry them in my heart.

So what about your grandma? Your kids’ grandma? Have you taken the time to talk or visit them today? Do you know she is waiting for you and no matter how long it has been she will still love you just the same as if you were there yesterday, even though you were not?


29 09 2009

Today I woke up with this in mind, expectations. I don’t want to have any, and I want to navigate my day according to the waves I encounter along the way. I did a search on the topic on my blog because I knew I wrote about this before and what I wrote still resonates today.

Here it is one more time, tell me what you think about expectations and the best way you go about it in your life. I wish you an unexpected wonderful day!!

The Way We Measure

15 09 2009

We measure many things; our behavior, our talents, our tolerance, our kindness, our emotions, our love, our commitments, etc. As you can tell from my examples I am talking about our qualities or faults measure against someone else. I guess I never paid much attention to it before but lately it is really bothering me, perhaps because I can clearly see how short we all come to perfection, to that image we want to portray many times and that is very far from reality. I have never claimed to be perfect, good, talented, or anything like that. I do recognize some of my gifts but I try not to talk about it or compare myself to anyone. I do try to emulate good people even though I know I fail many times and come short to many of their best qualities and virtues. That is the reason why it really bothers me when someone goes into their high chair and hit their breast while they list the number of ways they are better than the person next to them for whatever reason. It bothers me because in the process they put down other individuals around them, it might not be intentional and they might not realize how the other person feels, but they do hurt and sometimes humiliate others.

This Bible verse says it clearly:

“He said to them, “Take heed what you hear. With whatever measure you measure, it will be measured to you, and more will be given to you who hear.” Mark 4:24

And it has been in my mind for a long time. Every person is different and everyone will decide for themselves in which way to respond to different situations and responsibilities in their life even though you had the opportunity and privilege to raise or teach them. In the end it is on them and we get no more respect from anyone by telling others how good we are. Let’s learn to be humble and to keep our mouth shot most of the time, it will serve us well and let other instead tell us how good or bad we are.