A Mother’s Prayer

8 05 2009

This songs says it all, it is my prayer as a mother and I am sure for any mother on this earth. Times fly by and before I knew it my babies grew up, I can’t hold them as often in my arms but in my heart I am always longing to embrace them and to tell them how much I love them.

Happy Mother’s Days to all of you who in one way or another have raised children and did your best to show them what love is all about. The day I had mine it was the day that I knew what unconditional love was all about.

Watching from the Sidelines

30 03 2009


This has to be the hardest stage I have to go through while raising my kids. Once they get to their teens they begin to make their own choices and with it comes their mistakes. It has taken me a lot of time to build a solid foundation under them and now it is time to see what they do with it.

When it comes to not making the right choices or not measuring the consequences it is very hard for me to made me understood. It is frustrating to try to guide and then be disregarded over and over again. As a parent I has always been ready to lead, protect, provide, motivate, encourage, and fight if I have to. There is only so much we can do to prevent certain devastating consequences at this stage and unfortunately some kids don’t learn their lessons until they hit the bottom. I am not sure if they are crying for something they are not getting from us or if they are just plain stupid sometimes. At this point I am trying to get some feedback from experienced parents and so far they come to the same conclusion: there is not much you can do but to watch from the sidelines and pray as hard as you can for a good outcome.

What are your experiences with these situations? What has worked and what hasn’t?

Never Give Up

26 05 2008

momand daughter

In the realm of things I don’t believe in coincidences, everything happens for a reason and with an intention to make itself manifest with an specific purpose. I always wanted to be mom and by God’s grace I was blessed to be one. Even when the days get tougher as the time goes by, I’m thankful for this priviledge. Many times I feel like giving up, but there is no turning back on those you love and there is always faith that it will get better. It has to do more with the way I expect things to move along than with the crude reality that I have no control over what happens in life. Nothing is perfect and ideal, we need to work with the imperfect being that we are and learn to accept that our kids are included in that group.

Today I was aware of my whole being and how it affects everything that sorrounds me, including my family. Moms usually set the tone of the family and mine hasn’t been too great lately. Emotions, changes and challenges have set my life in turmoil, not an easy sea to navigate, that’s for sure. Many times I go mainly by instinct and hope. I encountered -among other things- an entry blog that reminded me of a truth, never give up. In life there are many moments when we think that all is lost, especially while we are raising our children. As soon as they begin to make their own mind and decisions we fear they will make the wrong choices. Communications tends to break down and it’s suddenly restored when we least expect it, and I’m so glad when it does.

Exposing our own vulnerability and accepting that we are not as perfect as they think, opens the door for them to talk to us. They are able to relate at a certain level, they even listen to what we have to say every once in a while. I guess they realize that we were young at one time of our life, that what they have seen and known is not all about us. They even have fun when they find out that we did the same crazy things they do now or worst, and learn to use it against us. Even though they claim that these are different times (don’t I know it!) the core of the situations and attitudes they should have in life are the same.

I noticed how the attitudes I try to instill in my children are subtle reminders of the same attitudes I should have in life. So I guess to a point this is a refresher course of how to live plus the experiences I had along the way. As I enter yet another stage of my life, I enter it along with my children in order not to get lost in the maze that this whole process puts me in. I desperately need to go through this process alone, but at the same time it is a relief that every once in a while I’m forced to unplug in order to deal with something or someone else. So I’m not giving up just yet, neither on me or them. I’m sure better times will come and at the same time I will expect that nothing will forever stay the same, if it did, I would be dead.

Clary Lopez, author of Simplicity, Richness of Life

The Way We Love Them

10 03 2008

To be the parent of a teenage son with a girlfriend is not an easy task. Loving and protecting becomes a mighty quest. Communication doesn’t seem to get through and you are constantly afraid it will too late before he realizes the consequences of his actions. Moms and dads have different tasks in the situation (love and toughness) in order to create a balance. Our experience handling situations like these are limited to our own experiences which are not necessarily situations present today. How to reconcile our wave of thoughts to theirs is not easy, putting ourselves in their place many times inconcievable.

I don’t accept this new way of young relationships, they tend to be way too intense for their age. In the past there was more respect for authority and more control over the time spent together. These days kids want to almost live together once they start dating. I’ve heard of boyfriends controlling girlfriends in ways that can become abusive in the future, parents must warn young people of these signs early on. The sad reality is that they don’t listen most of the time after they are emotionally involved.

How do I show my love for them? By caring, by talking, by paying close attention to what they do with their time together, by punishing if necessary, by taking away privileges, by creating boundaries.