Today I Let You Go

27 01 2010

I am a dreamer, I am a fighter and hopeless believer that if you love and work hard everything in time works out. To walk away is difficult, to let go agonizing but it is what we have to do sometimes. When you find yourself wondering, worried, anxious and in emotional pain and sorrow it is time to really think if it will not be better to let go. Sometimes it is in this let go that we find our way again. It is like trying to anchor your boat in a stormy sea, it is better to let it go and ride the storm. Nothing in life is picture perfect but life is not about continuous pain and agony. There must be hope and moments of blissful happiness among the tears.

Sometimes I feel my expectations are too high, perhaps to do away with them would be the answer, but I soon realize that expectations are markers along my journey. Without expectations I move aimlessly in life not knowing if I am making any progress or if I am getting what I truly deserve. So it is obvious that it won’t be the answer for me even though it sounds appealing. I guess I have been way too emotional lately after being basically disconnected from my own needs. Raising a family has been my focus and in that trajectory I lost myself along the way. Now it feels like I dropped down from the sky and there is so much to deal with, dig and recreate. I am a wonderful being, full of awesome and unmeasurable value, we all are. There is nothing I want more than to be happy again, to laugh, to dance, to embrace life with optimism. I know it is all possible but before I get to that place I need to get the courage to let certain things and people go, only then I would have my arms free to receive again. Maybe those I let go might return to me in better terms and according to what it would be really good for me, for both of us, but at the same time they might not and I have to be okay with that as well.

What is your experience of letting go?

Respecting Others Journey

10 01 2010

Life is an unending chain of choices, made or unmade, as we move along the path on our earthly journey. We look within to find what truly matters and to tap into our intuition. We look for ways to manage our life the best way we can. It is not always easy.

When it comes to personal journeys we try to deal with our individual situation, and the way others come in contact along the way of that journey affects the overall experience. I have learned that is not always wise to share a journey with someone else, especially if that person has emotional ties to me. There is always a hidden hold behind their good intentions, it is difficult to be objective. At times they can even hold me back. Personal agendas affect the overall success of the mission accomplishment and at the end it is only me who stand dissatisfied.

I need to slow down my life one more time, since I had to make certain changes six months ago the whole balance that took so much effort to attain shifted. This is new reality with different dynamics and I need to make sure that everything flows like it should. Sometimes we continue to take in whatever comes along without stopping to organize our life around it and before we know it we are not moving in any particular direction, we are like the wind blowing were it may and even in a stand still at other times.

I have certain goals and expectations for this 2010 and at the same time I will see where God takes me, we propose and he disposes. I got a spark of what it is I want to have accomplished but all the sudden everything is taking a different flow, I will go with it, after all it might be bigger than what I thought. Nothing is written on stone and I will not discard my intuition one more time, now more than ever I am learning how it guides me into the right path.

Motivated not Manipulated

3 01 2010

Everyone has their dreams and desires, everyone wants something from their life and expect certain things from others when in reality all we are entitled to is NOTHING. Really, my life is a long list of expectations from myself, my family and friends. No more, I will not be manipulated into anything unless I feel I am ready to move forward and I won’t say anything that I don’t really mean to make someone happy.