It Dawned on Me

30 05 2010

In just a few days my little girl will graduate from High School, time has fly by. Where did time go that in a blink of an eye she will be crossing the stage to pick up her diploma?

I thank God that I was able to be with her for so many years while I home schooled her even though at times it was not easy. He used every joy and challenge to help me be a better mom and teacher. Whatever virtue we did not have it was developed daily and in time we all grew together. It is a never ending process of falling and getting up again and now it is time for her to fly.

I pray that her dreams carry her far and that she never lose heart as a new beginning lies before her. Couldn’t sleep well last night knowing that I am running out of time, that this moment dawned on me at once, and that I am not ready for it.

Princess, life have changed in so many ways and distracted me from the fact, but know that I pray that this day is so very special for you and those who love you will be beside you with a happy tear in their eyes. I’m proud of who you are and expect that with your iron will, you will make all your dreams come true.

To you, to your dreams, to your future, may they be as bright as the stars in the heavens. Congratulations Princess Girl, YOU MADE IT!!

Being Present

28 05 2010

Reading one of Paulo Coelho’s quote this morning I realized that it was during moments when I made big mistakes that I felt more present in this world.

“Jamás dejes que las dudas paralicen tus acciones. Toma siempre todas las decisiones que necesites tomar, incluso sin tener la seguridad o certeza de que estás decidiendo correctamente.”

“Never let doubt paralyze your actions. Always make the decisions you need to make, even when you are not sure or don’t know for certain that you are deciding correctly.”

I don’t know if it was the reality that I was human, that hitting a wall woke me up and let me feel deeply, even if that feeling was pain. Life is a mystery and making a decision that turns bad sometimes gets through us like a sharp knife cut and make us bleed. Now, I don’t want to sound like I enjoy these moments and that those are the only moments I feel present in this world, there are many other good experiences that makes me feel the same: to see the sunrise in the horizon while a cool breeze caress my skin, the singing bird on the tree, the sounds of the waves in the shore… What I am talking about here is about making a decision, whatever that is, in order to move on. Sometimes is a bad decision but we don’t know it, then afterward we need to be ready for whatever comes our way and try to make the best of it. There are nuggets of goodness that we can pull from every experience and there are joys and discoveries that challenges and trials offered. Nothing is wasted.

One thing I would like to do the most is to think about me, just me. I wish I could go to that place where my heart is, where my soul yearns to fly to and remain there in calm. At the time many things entangle me to break loose, but the time is coming to fly, high in the sky and breathe the cool air. To enjoy a magnificent view, to share dreams, to share words… Emotion, way to feel present in this world.

It has been a while but I need to drift, to disconnect from the physical realm and go within. In the quietness of my being I find refuge, inspiration, hope and dreams. It is the infinite within… I will do that today, I invite you to do the same. There is a better place, it is at our grasp. I will see you in the other side…

What I Think

25 05 2010

We sometimes worry so much about what other people think, we ask and wonder, but is it really that important? I believe that the most important thing is what we think, about ourselves, about our choices, about our present circumstances. Instead of looking outside of us to find where should we go or what should be do we should look within. What is it that help us feel come and content, what provides happiness and gladden our hearts? We use to be like that and then little by little we started looking outside more than within. Instinct, we need to get in touch with it. There is always something that let us know what to do or not but we need to be in tune to ourselves, not others.

I noticed how what I wanted ten years ago is not what I want now, but there is a big struggle to untangle myself of everything that conveys my life right now. It takes time to make changes, to make adjustments, to let others know that you are no longer the same person they got so accustomed to. I guess in that regard we are always evolving and we should not assume that everything and everyone will remain the same. It is work, dedication, an innate interest to continue to grow and nurture the other or to be content to be by yourself. I wish it would be easy, I wish it would not be this painful but it is the way it is. I’m not sure if you can understand this reflection today, all I know is that this is the way I think today, the emotions that well out of my soul at this moment in time.

How do you think? What do you feel? Is there something nagging at you for some reason?

Time to Relax

24 05 2010

The ultimate view to drift your worries away….

Jump Start

19 05 2010

I am using this quick time of solitude at home to write a few words for you. I am not quite sure what is going to come out but I want to jump start my writing. Whatever it is life is putting before us is something very important, we might not see or understand what it is right now but it usually is a way to keep us in motion towards our destiny and mission in life. Today I am not sure what that is. I am working on a brand new business I launched back in Sept. 2009, it is taking me some time to get it off the ground but I love it and anything that is worthwhile will take time, dedication and money. Writing is still my passion and the outlet I use to stay sane many times, however, since my life changed forever last May my flow is not the same, I don’t even have the time I used to dedicate to read and write like I did many years ago. But like I said, everything that happens is important and will ultimately take me to where I need to be. Perhaps I need to have all these experiences in order to grow and enrich my writing, to develop new themes and in that way help someone else along the way. Writing has been a way to reach out to all of you who come to read my blog.

When I come here and see that I moved you to leave me a comment, there is a smile on my face. When I read that somehow it has changed or enhanced your view on your situation, I am elated. I do not take credit for anything I write, I just want to be a channel from above, undeserved one I might add but just the same. Openness and sincerity is key to reach others.

What is happening to you right now? What is happening in your life? Do you need to jump start somehow? What do you think will be needed to complete your journey?

Right Before Landing

3 05 2010

I am usually a little early or a little late, but this time I got lucky. I shoot the camera right on time, it’s rare to see this clearly because it happens so fast but it always amazes me. Flying is one of wonders that I enjoy the most in animals; wind, altitude, gracefulness, precision and control. I compare it to life, to the ups and downs, to the changes of wind and the speed which hits us holding us or pushing us around. To the struggle to stay balanced and to use the variables to our advantage. To use it sometimes to lift us high so that that we can get a better perspective of our situations. To choose a time to land and rest or a spot to dive in and be fed.

I love the sea, the wind, the clear blue sky and the sea breeze on my face. The sound of the waves on the shore carry me to places far beyond my sight, bringing back memories… It is all there, beyond the blue water taking from me and giving me whatever it is I need. I don’t know how to explain it. As I stand on the shore waiting for the water to touch my feet, I sink my feet on the wet sand and looking up the sky I breathe in deeply. I am free; free to dream, to hope, to believe that one day in one moment in time we all be one. The cool water runs on my skin and sometimes when it comes with power, runs up my legs refreshing my senses. I smile. That was what I needed and the sun warms my skin changing the shade as the time goes by. I am being transformed. A new creation, as I begin to walk and then lay down on the sand, face up to the clear sky. It has been a while since I’ve seen it so blue, but then comes the strong winds and the sand is lifted up on the air, blasting against my body. As long as I protect my eyes I am ok at least for a little while, I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to leave, my peace by the sea….