What’s next?

23 05 2016

pace - Lincoln quote

My new life has been in the re-making for a while now and I just managed to accomplish another goal on my list,  I  am College Graduate. May 20th marked that unforgettable moment in  which I knew that anything I could put my mind to, I can accomplish. It is just a matter of clarity on the goal, trace the route and work hard until I make it to the goal. There were moments in which I did not know if I could go on but thanks to my professors who offered assistance and at times encouraged me to push a bit harder that I was able to make it through.

As I arrived to the Convention Center where the ceremony took place, millions thoughts went through my mind. I’ve been there before, for my daughter’s High School Graduation and I could not imagine her feelings at that time but for me it was something I longed for such a long time. I went to college in the past but I never finished. My role of wife and mother was way more important to me at the time. I don’t regret it one bit, but at this time of my life in which I am rebuilding it just the way I want it. It was important to me to attain this goal. The decision to do this came easy to me, the determination and the hard work that I had to put into it came later. It was amazing all the things that happened those two years as I simultaneously worked and studied.  During my Sophomore year I got into a car accident, that event changed everything; for one I could not sit for more than one hour without being in pain. I was unable to work for two months, was prescribed physical therapy, Meds and eventually had surgery. My GPA suffered because of it, there were times in which I could not even think straight dealing with the pain and my body working against me but I pushed through. There were times away from family and friends, beautiful beach days locked up in my place studying for a test or working on a presentation or project. I am sure all of you who have a college education have lived this, but for me it was the first and I had no idea how hard it would be and the kind of determination one must have in order to get to the goal. Perhaps doing it while one is young, single, no kids and no job is easier. For those who sole commitment is study without many other preoccupations will help them stay focused on the goal and get there faster. Thank God I crossed the finish line even though I would of want to make it a Bachelor’s degree instead but at this point in my life it would be foolish to get into such a huge financial debt.

Today I am in new phase as I contemplate my future once more and the new goals I will set for myself. I wonder what would make my life better and my heart content. At times my mind goes in circles but then I reflected in one question; If money was not necessary, what would I do? I did not come to me right away but after sleeping on it here I am, writing. There are many things I would like to communicate and inspire others, especially women. There is an urgency on the message I want to convey. Life can change in a split second and my dreams can’t be left for later. I know I have a mission in life and I haven’t begun to spread my wings yet, all of this is mere preparation for the platform I am about to step on. My experience and education will be the credentials I will need to talk to others and be heard.

As I contemplate the possibilities of my future I see myself inspiring, uplifting and empowering others. The world is going through so many changes physically, financially, and resource wise. There is a great need to attune my goals to the current situation and teach others to do the same otherwise I won’t be able to thrive. As I prepare the program that will help analyze and develop this new way of working in the new economy my intention is to help as many people as I can to see this vision.  It is necessary to become more creative and most of all to be able to identify good opportunities that come our way. Entrepreneurship will flourish because there is a huge uncertainty these days in jobs, unemployment and low wages and even though I realize the biggest segment will be employees, I truly believe the entrepreneur segment is about to increase tremendously. I want to be part of this growing entrepreneur segment as I grow my own business and help others explore the possibilities to  have a business of their own as well. It is a new experience, a new way to look at the world around me; to identify opportunities, to guide and advice those who have unused or not fully developed talents they can utilize in order to succeed.

I welcome you in my journey and would love to know your thoughts about it.

What do you believe is happening and what changes need to be made in order to partake of success? We only live once and each and every one of us have a mission. Are you fulfilling that mission? Do you even know what your mission is?

It is time to shut down the auto-pilot and get a hold of the direction of our lives.





And I remain…

24 04 2016

Lady-giving-thanks

April 23, 2016, my birthday once more. Time to not only celebrate but to thank God for all lived and not lived. Every morning when I open my eyes the first thing on my mind, soul, my words are of gratitude.   Gratitude because I’m blessed with another day, another opportunity to continue on my path to what I am meant to do in this world, for however long that might be.

This past year was packed with new experiences, some not so good if you look at it from a worldly point of view, but in the realm of God’s infinite goodness it was a very valuable and enriched time to continue to grow inside and out. I learned that life is short and that it could change in a blink of an eye, that accidents are not accidents, there are allowed to push me forward in a more speedy way. That God always have my back, no matter who is or not is with me in this journey of life. I can count on him no matter what. I have not earned any of this, God’s love for me has no measures and no conditions.

I was blessed with a job who kept me close to him no matter the circumstances and even though at times my faith was tested, I remained close to him learning to overlook the faults of others who do not reflected him as I thought they should. But who am I to judge anyone? I am so imperfect and perfect at the same time. When I rely on him, my shallow being becomes all he wants me to be since the moment he thought of my existence. I become strong on him when I lean on him on my weakest moments. I become wise when I don’t trust myself and others and run to him for spiritual guidance. His peace within me tells me that I am on the right path, and that whatever comes my way he will be with me if I step aside and let him do his thing.

Living by faith and letting myself be guided, almost continuously, have enriched my life. At times is like walking into a dark cave, as my feet touch the ground and I extend out my arms to let my senses guide me where and how to move ahead. It is turning on an extrasensory radar in order to navigate my body, mind and soul into the depths of the unknown. Life is so amazingly challenging sometimes, but I’ve found that resistance makes it unbearable to the point of brokenness. When I feel my life bending in ways I don’t expect and it begins to hurt, I try my best to let go because if I try to hold on tight to whatever it is, it could snap. I had couple of moments this year in which I tried hard to hold on, and at that moment it snapped. It wasn’t meant to be, it wasn’t meant to remain. The hurt was like a knife cutting the most precious part of my body and soul…. my heart. Change and transformation entails a lot of pain and frustration sometimes. But trusting that God helps me navigate in whichever way I choose to, while keeping a close eye on me just in case I need assistance, is comforting. It is like a mother letting her child step away from her into the world, letting him experience life and this world as it is but at the same time looking from afar ready to rescue him or guide him as soon as he turns to her.

On this birthday I want most of all to continue on my designated path, a path that in part I have chosen guided totally by God. It might not be the most easy path to travel on, believe me, I envisioned something else but by experience I’ve learned  to look for the markers God has placed for me so that I find my way. If I have learned something this year is that no matter what, everything that comes and goes into my life is allowed with a strong and meaningful purpose to enrich, transform or to fulfill my spiritual existence which is eternal. I’ve also learned to say “I love you” more often with no connotation of a romantic love but one of pure sentiment we should all have for all humanity, the animals and this world. Love transcends the universe and it is that energy that creates and stimulates the growth of our understanding of WHAT IS. I can’t pretend to have the answers or of being right, it is not about rightness or what is good or bad, it is about the merging of something completely unknown and inexplicable at times and embracing its force in order to become it… So thank you Lord, for being that force that is within me and with me at all times. Because in the realm of what matters in this world and the short time I might spend here, it is about getting to know you and letting you teach me and guide my journey of what my life is all about. It is about letting others know the importance of the real essence of life and what it could be for each and everyone of us. No two existences are the same, and I want mine to leave a mark that says “SHE KNEW HOW TO LOVE” because the meaning of what LOVE is has intrigued me ever since I read the meaning of it in the Bible when I was only seven years old. I bask on those words in awe and wonder and until this day I continue to learn the million ways it could be present in my life.

And here I am… and I remain… for a moment, for a day, another year, for all eternity in this infinite presence of the divine.





Under a potter’s hands

9 08 2014

Faith is to believe in that which I cannot see. It is an abandonment of all I usually need to move forward; to know, see, prove, and explain. Trusting that I am blindly walking on a path constructed by the one who loves me the most, God, but I don’t necessarily know where is taking me. The emotions run on high sometimes because I want to know every single detail of my earthly journey and when I don’t I become anxious about the unknown. Having faith doesn’t mean I stay idle waiting for something; I must make the effort to move along somehow being hopeful and aware of what will unfold before me as I do, and then trust each step will take me closer to my goal.

Something strong could be chattered into dust and be rebuilt into something even stronger, different but stronger. When it doesn’t fill a good purpose anymore it is time to transform it, which is the beauty of starting anew. There is always hope for those who trust God and let themselves be molded like clay under a potter’s hand. There is power in letting go; because we are empty in order to be filled again with God’s grace, power and wisdom. I must not be blinded by what I see, but with what lies within a heart.





High powered emotions

13 01 2013

I guess in every transition in life, emotions play a big part. Changes challenges us to dig deep within and by moving us forward into unknown terrain many times brings about high powered emotions.

In my personal experience I am learning that pretending that everything is alright, even if it is to maintain the balance of family life, is wrong.  The balance you believe you maintained in order to provide a proper well being state become altered when reality hits all those involved. I know we do all this with the best intentions for our loved ones, specially our children but in the long run it could backfire. I don’t know how to justify a good relationship or to offer any hope that such thing exists or its possibility because even though I thought I had one, the reality is I never did. It is important that we learn how to identify  good and bad relationships in order to step or walk away from them along our life. Everyone needs to be treated with respect and be appreciated just the way they are. A relationship is the embracing of another human being in their own essence, to be enjoyed, cherished and to help it continue to grow and expand as it journey through life to complete its earthly mission. Any sign of resistance, put down, forced changed should be stopped in order to protect the essence of who that person is and what makes her feel happy and realized. 

I am slowly learning to not pay much attention to what others perceived of me by just looking at the external. As long as my conscience and my essence is not forced to be altered in order to please someone else, I move forward with my head high no matter what their thoughts and opinions are. In the end what is real is what is revealed and I have nothing to be afraid of. 

Life is a long journey towards our self and then toward the world around us, you can’t have just one. Our purpose is to shine in our own light and to share that light with those in tune to this purpose to move along making a big impact on others. Lately I have been able to get in contact with many people who are committed to move along those lines, and lend a helping hand to all those they encounter in order to live a good life. It took being REAL to be able to attract those people into my life and my circle of good friends. It took seeing the value I have as a human being instead of someone with a lot of shortcomings according to someone else perceptions. I am not perfect and have failed many times like everyone has,  but I have good values and I stand by truth. I would admit to my faults and learn from my mistakes. Most of all i know that the way I act towards others reflect the person that I am within. I still have a long way to go but at least right now I know that even though I have to go through some high powered emotions along the way it is okay to do so, because that means that I am in touch with my frail humanity which is made strong when I open my heart to my creator. He is guiding me to the path I must walk on and even though at times the terrain is rocky and I might fall, he is always there to help me up and to heal my wounds.   

 





The last day of 2012

31 12 2012

As the year comes to a close I reflect upon the fact that life is beautiful right along the trials, tribulations, blessings and encouragement I have the privilege to live. I spent it in two different parts of the world, each one with its own beauty and special blessings in my life. It also contained a diverse group of people who supported, encourage, challenged and loved me along the way. I lived new experiences, some good and some bad but all adds up to the lessons I needed to learn in order to continue my growth.

I am stronger, clear about my value, my dreams and goals and most of all of my capacity to make it a reality. All of my fears were unfounded because fears are not real, I needed to take that leap of faith and trust and what I did was fly… Yesterday I went to the movies and a saw a preview of Will Smith’s new movie to be released called After Earth. One phrase hit me as i watched it “In order to survive we must realize that FEAR is not real, is a product of thoughts you create. But do not misunderstand me, DANGER is very REAL but FEAR is a CHOICE.”  This will become my motto for 2013:  DANGER is very real, but FEAR is a choice. No more FEAR in my life, it doesn’t exist and life is one that needs to be lived and walked on with firm steps and most of all with integrity. I will get what I give and expect only the best in all.  

I read a comment right under the movie trailer of this movie and noticed how  two different people perceptions were expressed. One was impressed with the same phrase I was, the other was a total negative person saying that Will Smith made this movie with his son in order to create an opportunity for him that nobody would give him for being a black actor. My point exactly. I am not certain if that is the case but even if it was, what is the point?. In life you do whatever it takes to make your dreams a reality; you train or study, you learn, you work hard and go for it. If one door closes you look for a window, turn to another door or bring down the walls that separate you from your goal.  We have it too easy sometimes, I believe we have forgotten how our ancestors worked, fought and died for the little things we take for granted today thanks to all their efforts to make it our standard of living. We lack the creativity to face challenges and to overcome them. We lack the strength to hang in there until all is accomplished according to our goals, our values and must of all justly. I believe we need to grow in knowledge of our value and the power we possess to change and transform ourselves in our world regardless of what other people might think or say. Our true value is within and God has given us a treasure to work with. It is up to us to discover what that treasure is and appreciate it. We need to learn to pay the price. In life, at work in our relationships with one another all has a price and the way we handle different situations will give us rewards or regrets. I don’t know which one you prefer but I prefer rewards even though it is true that we gain wisdom with each of our regrets. No living experience is wasted in God’s infinite mercy. I learned that moving forward sometimes is done crawling if I have to,  but NEVER giving up.  

So as 2013 begins in just a few hours from now, I look forward to the life lessons it will teach me as I continue to grow and expand the horizon of my own territory. I will learn how to use my gifts and talents to transform what will shape my world. I have the power to shape and transform every single detail on it no matter what comes my way because my strength comes from the one who created me who  is infinite, all knowing and all powerful.  

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2013 TO ME AND TO ALL OF YOU, BE BLESSED ABUNDANTLY. 

         





Building almost from the ground up

30 01 2012

In the long and hard process of rebuilding a life from what it was to what it will be there is a way of getting to know myself and those around me. It is never a black and white situation in which I know what to do or think about all the dynamics of this process in order to move towards what I want my life to become. Sometimes is loaded of heart aches and disappointments but I’ve learned that it is when I go into it with a lot of expectations that this occurs. I have, little by little, begun to shed all of those thoughts of expectations and by doing so a lot of the past pain is less present in my life. I still have expectations but it has nothing to do with humanity, it has to be with the final destination which I want to reach within and in the universe. By letting go of human expectations I’ve been able to see more clearly reality around me. I realize that not everyone is going to be part of my journey or to offer me any comfort and I am okay with that. I walk along my path doing what my heart and soul wants and I understand that not everyone is going to be able appreciate it every time, but that is not my purpose when I give it away. Giving helps me grow in ways I never expected before and knowing that I am not withholding what’s inside me for fear or to protect myself liberates me.

There are certain satisfactions I can’t keep myself from offering others, to do so will be to bury the essence of who I am, and by satisfactions I mean acts mainly of service. What is given to me must be shared with others with no strings attached. In my opinion the more I give, the more is given back to me in one way or another. To have mental and emotional clarity is just what I need at this moment in this long journey. At times I think that certain people might be the ones that will have a long journey with me but all of the sudden I realize that not one person is meant to be there for you all the way through totally. We can’t depend on another human being to withstand the test of time in this arduous work that is meant to be a personal journey toward the unknown. Some people are there for you along the way and they manage to be “present” in the parts of one’s life but it is only in a fragmented way, they come in and out as their time allow them because they also have a long journey of their own and that is the one that they need to be constantly present at.

I wish I could say that I am glad at this moment in my life because it will take to encounter another human being who can share the many blessings I receive. To me it will be to be given the opportunity to be with someone who is willing to share his mind, body and soul, someone who allows me to be present along his journey in the same place of the universe. This time I will not pretend that it will be forever but I will like for it to be for as long as our paths align with each other’s progress along our life. To be opened to another human being is to trust that the other is totally aware that you are an important part of their earthly journey, someone who can contribute something you want and need in order to be nurtured and supported. I don’t believe we can be alone; we need the warmth and caring from one another at so many different levels during our existence. It has been an awful long time for me to be at this stage but I understand that there is a process and the longer I take to understand it, the longer it will be for me to reach or identify that special someone in my life journey. I do feel I’m getting closer and though it still hurts when I fail, I am not burden with the load of negative feelings like in the past. I try not to judge myself or others, things and people are just the way they are and they will be or go towards what they need to in order to complete their journey.

Rebuilding almost from the ground up is to be able to take what I’ve constructed and destroyed until now and to make it, in so many ways, into what is meant to be. The way I know if it is right is by closing my eyes and going within; if I feel tranquil I am on the right track. Turbulence, anxiety, guilt or stress means only one thing, not been where I was meant to be.

Clary Lopez
January 29, 2012





Learning a new Rhythm

17 11 2011

It has been many years in a foreign land, a land where I never decided to live in and even though I did my heart always was somewhere else. Now that somewhere else is here and in many ways I feel a little foreign in it. It’s ironic but at this time sentiments and habits created long ago are part of my being. As I embrace the land I always wanted to be in, I must also embrace what I become while on it. It is a slow process that I must learn to flow with in order to regain control of my life, a lot depends on it including my happiness.

To Quiet the heart does not come easy, even when the ideal circumstances are denied; it lingers, it waits, it dreams, it flies where it want to be and subliminally communicates with the other. Time will only tell if it will live or die.

I’m slowly learning to close my eyes, to look away, to keep my mind busy when it needs to in order to help let the time pass by. I realize that sometimes the torture is created within and mistakenly I expect the peace to come from external means, nothing is further from the truth, both are created within. I must decide which one to grow in order to move on, torture has lived way too long with me.

As I learn this new rhythm and even dance to it, I must also know that it will take time… It will be worthy at the end and my heart will be full of peace and joy, just like I dream, like I hope, like is meant to be against all the odds.