Greetings

13 04 2010

I wish I come here more often, the words have bottled up for so long but there isn’t much time in a day to slow down and get them out. When I do sit down to write I find myself thinking of the same themes and thoughts I had a year ago, I guess nothing much has changed which worries me, because by now something different must be happening inside but it has not. I feel like floating in space going around and around the same objects with nowhere to land.

Time alone and to reflect is what moved me to dig deep within before but I am trying to drown my worries I am keeping as busy and occupied as I can. In the long run is not good for me, I know. Starting today I will do my best to isolate myself from time to time. Being in the desert of my being I can see things more clearly and the words emerge effortlessly. I also need to finish a project I have been holding on to for too long and let it fly, wherever that might be. I need to revisit the places I was exploring before and see if there has been any changes also, I am sure it has. Most of all I need to give voice to my needs and wants in order to obtain them.

I see in the horizon a new possibility but I am immobilized, I don’t believe it is my call to do so. I hate to be labeled for it, so I will wait to come my way if it is what is meant to be. All I know is that inspired me to be the best that I could be and even expanded the way I saw myself and what I could do. It was a wonderful feeling, I felt alive and creative. But I will leave it at that and let God move things in the way he knows is best for me, in the meantime I will receptive to his promptings.





About Hope and Friendship

26 03 2010

It is in moments of difficulty that we need hope and friendship the most. These are hard times and many are losing hope when little by little they see what they work so hard for is threaten to be lost forever. Most of all there is little chance that if they lost their job that they will be able to regain a position at the same level. But it is not always that way, some somehow maintain themselves long enough to survive the hard times and mostly it is because when they are really low they still have their friends who care enough for them to give them hope and to help anyway they can. Prayer is powerful and a constant flow of it no matter from who it comes from also help sustain those who are losing hope and can’t pray anymore.

I am a true believer of intercessory prayer through the saints and one who never fails me in times of desperate need is St. Jude. It was through his prayers that one person was saved from despair and possibly suicide in a time of need. I would be forever thankful to him that after 12 days my request was granted in a big way. So hang on to hope and if you can please, hang on to friendship because your friends will go the extra mile when you can’t.





I Can Only Imagine

13 12 2009

Long, far and distant. That is the way all seems right now, I’ve seen it in my mind, felt it in my heart but it is not a reality yet. I feel the wind blowing hard lifting up the fabric wing. I would love to hang glide and soar high in the air, just like I have long to fly in different moments of my life. Sometimes to runaway and other to hurry things up and yet many times I just stand still.

It is a quiet night and I hear nature sing outside the window, every once in a while a car passing by changes the tune but it soon become silent again. The darkness envelopes my senses and I wish I could fly to where my soul wants to be. I breathe in deeply waiting for the words to emerge and it is so unreal that as frequently I used to write, I don’t do it as I used to. I miss it.

I always wonder over the fact that at times everything comes together so beautifully and as we treasure the moment we would like to linger with it for a while, maybe forever. I want that moment; when the altitude, the wind and my strength comes all together right before the take off. When all fear is left behind and excitement is free to move in. When the beauty of God’s creation is beneath me as I look around and see the majestic view. I know it will be hard to take all in at once and yet very possible to achieve. I can only imagine but one day my imagination will stop, and I will face reality and then, only then I will say I lived!!





Expectations

29 09 2009

Today I woke up with this in mind, expectations. I don’t want to have any, and I want to navigate my day according to the waves I encounter along the way. I did a search on the topic on my blog because I knew I wrote about this before and what I wrote still resonates today.

Here it is one more time, tell me what you think about expectations and the best way you go about it in your life. I wish you an unexpected wonderful day!!

https://clary.wordpress.com/2008/04/17/expectations-2/





The Way We Measure

15 09 2009

We measure many things; our behavior, our talents, our tolerance, our kindness, our emotions, our love, our commitments, etc. As you can tell from my examples I am talking about our qualities or faults measure against someone else. I guess I never paid much attention to it before but lately it is really bothering me, perhaps because I can clearly see how short we all come to perfection, to that image we want to portray many times and that is very far from reality. I have never claimed to be perfect, good, talented, or anything like that. I do recognize some of my gifts but I try not to talk about it or compare myself to anyone. I do try to emulate good people even though I know I fail many times and come short to many of their best qualities and virtues. That is the reason why it really bothers me when someone goes into their high chair and hit their breast while they list the number of ways they are better than the person next to them for whatever reason. It bothers me because in the process they put down other individuals around them, it might not be intentional and they might not realize how the other person feels, but they do hurt and sometimes humiliate others.

This Bible verse says it clearly:

“He said to them, “Take heed what you hear. With whatever measure you measure, it will be measured to you, and more will be given to you who hear.” Mark 4:24

And it has been in my mind for a long time. Every person is different and everyone will decide for themselves in which way to respond to different situations and responsibilities in their life even though you had the opportunity and privilege to raise or teach them. In the end it is on them and we get no more respect from anyone by telling others how good we are. Let’s learn to be humble and to keep our mouth shot most of the time, it will serve us well and let other instead tell us how good or bad we are.





Holding It In

9 09 2009

For the longest time we have been trained to hold things up. Living in a society demands that sometimes we don’t speak of certain topics or opinions. When it comes to relationships it is pretty much the same but one thing I know is that no communication=no relationship. Holding in opinions, emotions, hurt, ideas, disagreements, etc takes a toll on anyone. There is a fine line between being honest and rude, between expressing our frustration and insulting someone in the process. At times is best to just walk away. Words can’t never be taken back but not because of it we are to be so afraid to utter them, in some occasions they are essential to help resolve a situation.

Holding things in for too long only leads to an imminent explosion and out of control situation. There is only so much we all can take and for our own emotional and health we need to learn to release from time to time.

What is your experience with holding it in? Have you learned ways to release in order not to create too much pressure that will provoke an “explosion”?





Unspoken Words

29 07 2009

If only Michael knew…
I was listening to the radio the other day and they were playing a few of Michael Jackson’s songs, all the sudden a fan got on the line and express what Michael and his music meant to him. It was moving, it was profound, such beautiful sentiments and words to transmit something I wished Michael heard while he was alive. Who knows if he would have listened to those words, all those words spoken at the time of his death if that who have had some impact on how he view his life and help him in some way. They were the same words that went unspoken for so long for him.

I guess we can take that lesson and if someone has impacted our life in such a profound and meaningful way we should express it loudly, so that the world will hear it somehow. I am guilty to think that the ones I love will live forever and that somehow, by the way I act and the things I do, they know how I truly feel but the truth is that they need to hear the words while I look deep into their eyes. I am having the time to reflect upon many things now and while I do I try to see what could be changed for the better. It might be unfamiliar ground but the reward will be strength, strength I did not know I had and the power of words to express what is in my heart.

There is way more to come, I know and yet I am okay with it. I guess I will try to let go of the tight route I had in mind and for once explore and be surprised with new discoveries. It is not always fine to live life knowing exactly (or trying) what comes next. It will be best to be really good at navigating our vessel in order to face whatever comes our way and at the same time make sure we speak the words straight from the heart not waiting til tomorrow.

What is your experience with unspoken words?