7 01 2013



Lately I am really enjoying watching sunsets, at this time of the year they are breathtaking. I sit close to the water and as the waves kiss the sand every so often I begin to feel the slight warmth the sun radiates as it goes down. It’s the anticipation, the dimming of light around me awakes all my senses within. I don’t want to talk, all I want is to listen to the sounds around me and enjoy the hues of colors transform the sky before me. It’s magical. 

I wonder what moves you, what is it that makes you stop and listen to the core of your being? Staying connected to ourselves is so important, do you realize how much?

The last day of 2012

31 12 2012

As the year comes to a close I reflect upon the fact that life is beautiful right along the trials, tribulations, blessings and encouragement I have the privilege to live. I spent it in two different parts of the world, each one with its own beauty and special blessings in my life. It also contained a diverse group of people who supported, encourage, challenged and loved me along the way. I lived new experiences, some good and some bad but all adds up to the lessons I needed to learn in order to continue my growth.

I am stronger, clear about my value, my dreams and goals and most of all of my capacity to make it a reality. All of my fears were unfounded because fears are not real, I needed to take that leap of faith and trust and what I did was fly… Yesterday I went to the movies and a saw a preview of Will Smith’s new movie to be released called After Earth. One phrase hit me as i watched it “In order to survive we must realize that FEAR is not real, is a product of thoughts you create. But do not misunderstand me, DANGER is very REAL but FEAR is a CHOICE.”  This will become my motto for 2013:  DANGER is very real, but FEAR is a choice. No more FEAR in my life, it doesn’t exist and life is one that needs to be lived and walked on with firm steps and most of all with integrity. I will get what I give and expect only the best in all.  

I read a comment right under the movie trailer of this movie and noticed how  two different people perceptions were expressed. One was impressed with the same phrase I was, the other was a total negative person saying that Will Smith made this movie with his son in order to create an opportunity for him that nobody would give him for being a black actor. My point exactly. I am not certain if that is the case but even if it was, what is the point?. In life you do whatever it takes to make your dreams a reality; you train or study, you learn, you work hard and go for it. If one door closes you look for a window, turn to another door or bring down the walls that separate you from your goal.  We have it too easy sometimes, I believe we have forgotten how our ancestors worked, fought and died for the little things we take for granted today thanks to all their efforts to make it our standard of living. We lack the creativity to face challenges and to overcome them. We lack the strength to hang in there until all is accomplished according to our goals, our values and must of all justly. I believe we need to grow in knowledge of our value and the power we possess to change and transform ourselves in our world regardless of what other people might think or say. Our true value is within and God has given us a treasure to work with. It is up to us to discover what that treasure is and appreciate it. We need to learn to pay the price. In life, at work in our relationships with one another all has a price and the way we handle different situations will give us rewards or regrets. I don’t know which one you prefer but I prefer rewards even though it is true that we gain wisdom with each of our regrets. No living experience is wasted in God’s infinite mercy. I learned that moving forward sometimes is done crawling if I have to,  but NEVER giving up.  

So as 2013 begins in just a few hours from now, I look forward to the life lessons it will teach me as I continue to grow and expand the horizon of my own territory. I will learn how to use my gifts and talents to transform what will shape my world. I have the power to shape and transform every single detail on it no matter what comes my way because my strength comes from the one who created me who  is infinite, all knowing and all powerful.  



On My Hands

10 09 2011

In the realm of all that is and all that will be there is a undeniable reality that most of I want is already on my hands. I don’t believe that my inspirations and most sincere sentiments are there to be voided, silenced, controlled… In all of creation we are the only ones who have the power to think and act, to create and recreate our life. I am at that point, recreation. It is a time of reflection of deep longing and of uncertainty. It is my chance to have what I really want and to grow in all directions.

At this point I have certain goals and desires and the first steps are already in motion. But at the same time I am deeply connected to my intuition, I don’t want to ignore it this time. Sometimes in life we force our way through, we cling to things and people who are not good for us, we hang from ideas that have not worked for a very long time and we try to hold on when we should let go. That we make a commitment doesn’t mean that the other person has done the same thing, it hurts to come to that reality but it is best to open our eyes and move on. Our view of love and commitment is not the same but it should ultimately be to make each other happy. I am letting go, and in that let go I am also setting myself free, free to experience what life has to offer and to become what I must become.

In this new reality of wonderful things that God has for me, I am opening my hands in order to receive all that was supposed to be mine long ago and that somehow I did not realize. In life sometimes we give up, let go, hold on, try to capture things and people who were not meant for us. I believe that is why they get out of our hands, it is a sign that what we thought it was, isn’t. There is no reason on earth, even our love for them, to make them stay. I don’t believe in threats, conditions, trials and promises. I believe in love, honesty, self-giving and action. The day I have to sit down with someone to ask them to show or prove to me their sincerity, loyalty, friendship, or love for me is the day that I know for sure none of it exists. All of that and more is demonstrated to us in our daily interactions and should not be imposed or demanded from anyone because it should flow freely from their heart and soul.

Nothing gives makes me happier than to have on my hands; my future, my dreams, and my hopes. It is a treasure but this time I won’t give it away, I will share it. My heart is opened to the great possibilities a new life entails and I know it will be great. What else could I ask for?

Early Morning

26 04 2010

It was a stormy night, full of thunder and lightning, not letting me sleep. The rain fell hard washing away some thoughts of unhealthy memories while holding on to others. I drifted in and out of my dreams of being embraced by love. It is an ideal, I guess something we will always long for in some manner, way, shape or form. It is sublime at times, but very briefly and then -in my experience- challenged to sustain itself against the storms. I wish I knew if that is the case for most of us because sometimes I wonder. The sensations are able to sustain us for a lifetime but the hurt last an eternity, sometimes I wonder if it is even worth it. Then again I look back and realize that without it our existence would be so trivial and insignificant. In those brief moments of love we gain a million heartbeats…

Brand New

29 12 2009

The end of the year approaches and with it the thoughts, purpose and desires to make it better than the last. New year resolutions are ancient traditions we have tried to practice year after year. I say try because sometimes we fail to accomplish everything we set out to do. I think is has to do with looking at our circumstances realistically and not measuring our commitments accurately, it happen to me many times.

I believe all of us have changed tremendously in the past few years, our hard economic situations has brought us back to the basics and many are starting all over again. We have learned what is truly important and dispose of what is not. We are concentrating our energy in learning more about ourselves and what we are really supposed to do in life. We are finding new meaning and value in the gifts God has given us and are utilizing them for our benefit. We are more aware of our surroundings and what is going on in this world in order to find the flow we should go this time around and survive.

This year my whole life changed and I’ve been on a completely new terrain that God set before me. For a while I did not know in which capacity I would be able to contribute in the regular work force; all I knew what to do was to raise a family, teach my kids, write and work from home. I had no worries. When the storm came all of that changed in a flash and it was obvious my life would never be the same even if I wanted to. Change is the word of the present moment and one I am trying to get accustomed to since I have been so used to stability. I have to admit it is scary at times but as the time goes by I realize it is a necessary evil in order to move forward. It is not easy to change outlooks and habits, it is painful at times. If I am learning something this year is to go more with my intuition, looking back I noticed how many times I ignored it and that is the reason why so many of my heartaches spring forth. I know I’m not the only one who does this, most of us think that those things are childish and that you only do it when you are young and have no responsibilities, at least I did. We should not change so dramatically when we decide to share our life with someone else, there is no need to recreate something that was real. There should always be a mutual respect and admiration for who we are and what we stand for and encourage the other to grow in all directions in order to accomplish a common goal with gladness.

In 2010 I know there will be a lot of stretching, fine tuning and adjusting, it already began. It will be a year to face fears, to take risks and chances, to embrace who I truly am and love it. It will be a chance to be innocent again without the thought that is childish. It will be a year to be true to myself and not try to tone down who I am to please anyone. It will the year that if someone loves me will embrace me just the way I am, without being ashamed or threaten by it.

How do you think your 2010 would look like? What changes are you going to make?

I wish all of you a great 2010, one that shines beyond your imagination!!

Esoteric Realms

21 09 2009


I yearn for silence, for solitude, for those moments when my mind is detached in such a way that is able to fly and go places I have never being and I understand in ways it was impossible before. It is a ray of light illuminating my mind, my heart and soul and then the thoughts, emotions, and words are free to flow easily. It hasn’t been the case for a long time now, I lost track of time in the middle of turmoil, noise and pain. I need to get it back somehow. I’m coming back to the original place where all seem to be so right and creativity flourished almost effortlessly. It is never in total isolation but in the sharing of like minds and thoughts that somehow sustain and inspire to create even more. It is to find that connection of the seen and unseen that completes the picture many times. I am not sure who would understand, perhaps only those who have experience or yearn to experience the same. I don’t believe it is a unique gift but it is something few touch upon because those few are the ones with enough courage to claim the space they need to experience it. It is not easy sometimes, especially when there are so many other things out of control and most of the time we want to control them. In the end the one who suffer is the one with their wings tied up.

Words are like the air I breathe, without them flowing I feel like dying. There are integral to my well being and my health, it is not good to bottle up emotions, anger and hate. A volcano can not be contained. I am afraid that is what I have done as the tremors shook deep within loosing up the soil and fragmenting what used to be solid. It is new terrain, one that I am sure in time can be even better than it was. Dreaming gives hope and refreshes the soul, it is something to look forward to even though we don’t know the way. It is taking one step at a time expecting to succeed. Not everything fall on a straight line, and everything that does not works out fine all the time, the more delightful rides sometimes are the ones on a scenic route even though it takes longer. I can’t keep starring at the many curves, turns and crossroads while I miss the view around me. I need to stop and walk slowly in order not to miss the details of what is trying to touch me and transform me.

I see an open gate, a cool fresh dawn before me and a inspiring breeze letting me know I am still alive. I close my physical eyes and open my inner vision, then I breathe in. The tension goes away and rushing through comes my long forgotten friend, inspiration. Where has it been? Why it took so long? Why did I let it go? Who said I could control my fate, or what others decide to do in the end? Who said I would never get hurt again? It was a really good try, a good run, one I thought I won but found myself instead with an empty shell. There is an ideal but never an absolute, there is always a way to find the way.

Creating Opportunity

16 04 2009

It just break my heart to see so many capable and dedicated people lose their jobs and possessions;their homes, their cars, their credit and sometimes even their relationships.

I am not sure if this a common practice, but I found out that some employers now check on candidates and employees credit reports in order to get hire or dismiss personnel. This brings a whole new set of situations to deal with when you find yourself out of work for too long. I don’t believe is fair that credit reports get so much weight on hiring decisions specially during these hard economic time. Most of the people are responsible with their credit at least paying the minimum amounts if they can. Credit card companies are so unwilling to work with their customers that they continue to raise their interest rates without any concern for the ultimate result, default. When a customer is having a hard time paying their debts but are willing to continue paying what they should do is reduce the interest rate and work towards a solution, it is much better than to have to write the account off and never get their money back. I believe this is an issue the government should also consider taking in, with this kind of domino effect on people’s financial state the economy will take a very long time to regain its strength.

If people is not able to find work the next thing to do would be to create and opportunity for themselves. This time could be turned into a blessing as we learn how to use our hard earned money. There is no doubt that somehow this period of time would be remembered by the time when we learned what is really important in our life and a deep understanding of the many blessings of living a simple life. Families are getting closer together as they try to help one another stay afloat. Our children for once learn that they can’t have everything in life and that they need to prepare for the unexpected.

I come from a family where hardships came and went, right from the start my parents looked to work with the ordeals that presented themselves in their life. There was always a moment when an important decision needed to be done in order to change the course of their financial situations and I believe the same thing happens to all of us.

My parents lived in a very small cottage far away from town when they first got married, it was a place who needed much work and his brother owned it, he let if fix it in exchange to live there for free for two years. They had no water or electricity, my dad would come with a tank of water in the back of the truck every afternoon after work and I was just a newborn. I can not imagine having to wash dirty diapers and clothes by hand, cook and clean without potable water but that is what my mother did. Then all the sudden my dad hit the lottery and got enough money to purchase 5 1/2 acres of land. He gave a deposit and with the rest of the money built a small house. They lived there a few years while he work as an excavator operator for someone else. He noticed how busy they were and the phone would not stop ringing for more and more work to be done. At that time the property purchase agreement was coming to an end and he decided to sell it instead. He had divided the lot in two; one empty and the other with the house. With the sale money he had enough to buy another home or a brand new excavator to begin working on his own. He consulted my mom about it and my mom told him to go ahead with the business idea instead and she would move in with her parents and me and my dad to his parents for a while. But the lawyer who sold the lot to him had another property pending in his investments and wanted my dad to see it. My dad liked it but had no money but $1,000 after buying the excavator to cover for the payments just in case he could not get work. The lawyer went ahead and bought the house and offered it to him with the $1,000 down payment and a $500 payment every six months for 3 years. So my dad would let go of the $1,000 he offered to lend him the money back if he needed it at any time if he had no work to cover for the excavator’s payment. Well, my dad didn’t have to borrow the money he had enough business to make the payments and his business began to grow from there. From one excavator he expanded to a few different equipments that he bought as he got jobs for them, many times he would get a contract and then buy the equipment needed to complete it and most of the time with the rental of the equipment the machine was practically paid off. It wasn’t long before he then bought a better and bigger home closer to town. Every 5-7 years he would move to a better place. He invested his profits in more properties, some land and some with houses in that way he was able to get loans against the properties if needed or sell them in order to expand or survive. He has so much work that at one point instead of continuing to grow his business his brothers began to buy equipment also and he began to pass work to them. Today most of the family owns and operates heavy equipment and transportation trucks. My two brothers are two top operators for a company in the United States.

Changes always bring a whole new spectrum in our life; we can be affected emotionally as well as financially and my parents lived through it too. When they decided to move to the United States they left behind all they had built for 20 years, but at the time it was what they thought needed to do. It wasn’t long when they realized that they couldn’t make it here and went back to the island to begin all over again. Hard work and determination helped him build his business again, but by that time other big companies started to move in to the island and in the next 10 years the business began to decline. He concentrated in real estate then and with that he has been able to survive. What I want to say here is that we need to pay close attention to the trends and changes and continuously look for ways to put our energy and talents into something that will be of service to others. Do not keep looking at what you lost but look at what you have, what’s lost is lost and only looking forward you will be able to create something that will work and provide the necessary means to sustain yourself and your family.

Tell me your thoughts. What do you think these times are teaching you?