When you know it in your heart

The time has come in my life where I feel I should stop and listen closely, it has been nagging at me for decades. It is a shame that all this time has gone by but the internal urging never fades away. Fear keeps me grounded where I am, and I am thankful to God that he has sustained me this far until I come to my senses. I really don’t know the purpose of this wait other than I need to grow some more, I need to put on some more tough coatings over my skin to face the unknown and build on my trust on the one who gives me everything.

God created me with gifts and talents yet to be fully developed, and there is such greatness in all his designs, that I doubt this is all I will be able to do so far. I need to reach deep within and towards him in order to fulfill my mission and at the same time I try to live “safe.” I am reaching the edge of great cliff in which a vast land lies before me, I see the eagles fly and I long to fly with them. They too were at the edge right before they let go and jump forward towards the big empty space, trusting their wings and God provided the wind beneath it to lift them up… What a magnificent view must they have from above, what a thrilling sensation to be carried by faith alone.

Changes bring so many uncertainties, in today’s journal entry for my Psychology class I encountered an entry from one of the students facing his discontent towards his present work situation which created great stress in his life. This is my comment to him:

“I can relate to your stress related to your work. Work is such an extension of who we are, it should be considered (in my opinion) as what we are supposed to do in order to use our gifts and talents. At times we choose careers that provide us with the financial means we need to survive in society. In time those choices weigh heavy on us and we feel unhappy and unsatisfied. I believe we have an internal intuition to know these things, and in time we are faced with the reality to make a change. It is not easy to let go of what we know and jump off into the unknown… I am on that path myself, at the threshold to listen to my intuition telling me that I can be more than I am right now, and that my talents are not utilized properly. There is a certain peace I know we must feel when we are on the right path, and it takes courage to trust and move on towards the unknown.

I wish you the best in all you do, and may you find that place in which you will feel that you can be your ALL for the world to see.” e

*Eagle picture retrieved from http://grannysuesnews.blogspot.com/2012/05/high-places.html

Lost for words

A writer’s life most be one of reflection and time to dedicate to his craft in order to be able to express the depth of his mind and soul. It needs to connect to the gift’s source; God. In the turmoil in which I still live it is hard to find that a place in which I am able to recognize what it is needs to flourish onto the pages or in this case onto screen as my fingers dance over the keyboard. How I long for times of tranquility, peace and joy…. I know is not that far off, at least I hope so. It is hard to really live without using my gifts. In a big part is the real way to be because otherwise I believe I merely exist… God did not want for me to just pass by this world, I must do and utilize the gifts he gave me and only then I will leave a footprint for others to see.   

My world is about to change, it has been a slow process but little by little what has no value is having a parade before my eyes as it leaves. Once out of sight I am sure it won’t be missed. The people who are real and somehow sustain me are all around me, the others walk away as their masks fall to the ground. I am so thankful to God for shedding from my life all that is not good for me. Sometimes I don’t see it or try to hang on to it but at the end letting go is the only thing that brings me peace. 

I find myself pressed for time at this moment and naturally all my inspiration disappear, perhaps in another time I will find that gap of space that will allow me to share with you a little bit more. For now I urge you to look for that time because like me, all of us have our gifts and our mission in life. Don’t let your life be insignificant, leave a footprint behind…