When you know it in your heart

26 07 2015

BaldEagleFlyingMountain

The time has come in my life where I feel I should stop and listen closely, it has been nagging at me for decades. It is a shame that all this time has gone by but the internal urging never fades away. Fear keeps me grounded where I am, and I am thankful to God that he has sustained me this far until I come to my senses. I really don’t know the purpose of this wait other than I need to grow some more, I need to put on some more tough coatings over my skin to face the unknown and build on my trust on the one who gives me everything.

God created me with gifts and talents yet to be fully developed, and there is such greatness in all his designs, that I doubt this is all I will be able to do so far. I need to reach deep within and towards him in order to fulfill my mission and at the same time I try to live “safe.” I am reaching the edge of great cliff in which a vast land lies before me, I see the eagles fly and I long to fly with them. They too were at the edge right before they let go and jump forward towards the big empty space, trusting their wings and God provided the wind beneath it to lift them up… What a magnificent view must they have from above, what a thrilling sensation to be carried by faith alone.

Changes bring so many uncertainties, in today’s journal entry for my Psychology class I encountered an entry from one of the students facing his discontent towards his present work situation which created great stress in his life. This is my comment to him:

“I can relate to your stress related to your work. Work is such an extension of who we are, it should be considered (in my opinion) as what we are supposed to do in order to use our gifts and talents. At times we choose careers that provide us with the financial means we need to survive in society. In time those choices weigh heavy on us and we feel unhappy and unsatisfied. I believe we have an internal intuition to know these things, and in time we are faced with the reality to make a change. It is not easy to let go of what we know and jump off into the unknown… I am on that path myself, at the threshold to listen to my intuition telling me that I can be more than I am right now, and that my talents are not utilized properly. There is a certain peace I know we must feel when we are on the right path, and it takes courage to trust and move on towards the unknown.

I wish you the best in all you do, and may you find that place in which you will feel that you can be your ALL for the world to see.” e

*Eagle picture retrieved from http://grannysuesnews.blogspot.com/2012/05/high-places.html





What is and What Will Be

18 06 2009

It was a long time coming, a time of big changes and transformation. From the familiar to the unknown and to bringing out the best I have to offer. It is not at all what I envisioned and yet I somehow expected it. I am letting myself be guided instead of steering the way I want to go, to stay in the same place doing what is familiar is the easiest thing to do but not what I am meant to do at this moment. The time is now and the door is open, I will walk through it and leave behind the previous comforts that cost me so much. I was excited at the beginning and then I stopped for a while and though about how my life will change, how I would lose some of the comforts and freedom I have enjoyed for so long but it is time, and I feel deep in my soul it comes from above. I must trust that God knows what is best at this time and moments of my life and learn not to question his ways.

I used to be impulsive and quick to act even after huge mistakes but now I have learned to stop and try to analyze what went wrong and wait for a sign before I move in a certain direction. This time I don’t want to shut myself, to fear or mistrust anything or anyone who is around me. Those who lost my trust will have to gain it back and time will tell if that is possible. I will no refuge myself on anyone but God and I won’t blame me for someone else actions. Nothing happens isolated from those who are part of my life but I can’t blame me for something I did not make a decision on.

Circumstances have changed the terrain I now walk on, what was smooth is fragmented and rocky but I must continue my journey and the destiny that only God knows at this time. It has not been revealed to me yet but I walk in faith and know that it time it will be, and it will be good because it is not of a design from my own fashion. I am not putting any strings, I am not expecting anything. In time it will be revealed to me. I feel at peace on that thought as I pushed aside my own agenda, my plans and what I thought was the ideal situation.

What is and what will be; there is hope, there is always hope when I wait and trust in God’s plan. I will be patient and will accept what he has in stored for me.