When you know it in your heart

26 07 2015


The time has come in my life where I feel I should stop and listen closely, it has been nagging at me for decades. It is a shame that all this time has gone by but the internal urging never fades away. Fear keeps me grounded where I am, and I am thankful to God that he has sustained me this far until I come to my senses. I really don’t know the purpose of this wait other than I need to grow some more, I need to put on some more tough coatings over my skin to face the unknown and build on my trust on the one who gives me everything.

God created me with gifts and talents yet to be fully developed, and there is such greatness in all his designs, that I doubt this is all I will be able to do so far. I need to reach deep within and towards him in order to fulfill my mission and at the same time I try to live “safe.” I am reaching the edge of great cliff in which a vast land lies before me, I see the eagles fly and I long to fly with them. They too were at the edge right before they let go and jump forward towards the big empty space, trusting their wings and God provided the wind beneath it to lift them up… What a magnificent view must they have from above, what a thrilling sensation to be carried by faith alone.

Changes bring so many uncertainties, in today’s journal entry for my Psychology class I encountered an entry from one of the students facing his discontent towards his present work situation which created great stress in his life. This is my comment to him:

“I can relate to your stress related to your work. Work is such an extension of who we are, it should be considered (in my opinion) as what we are supposed to do in order to use our gifts and talents. At times we choose careers that provide us with the financial means we need to survive in society. In time those choices weigh heavy on us and we feel unhappy and unsatisfied. I believe we have an internal intuition to know these things, and in time we are faced with the reality to make a change. It is not easy to let go of what we know and jump off into the unknown… I am on that path myself, at the threshold to listen to my intuition telling me that I can be more than I am right now, and that my talents are not utilized properly. There is a certain peace I know we must feel when we are on the right path, and it takes courage to trust and move on towards the unknown.

I wish you the best in all you do, and may you find that place in which you will feel that you can be your ALL for the world to see.” e

*Eagle picture retrieved from http://grannysuesnews.blogspot.com/2012/05/high-places.html

Under a potter’s hands

9 08 2014

Faith is to believe in that which I cannot see. It is an abandonment of all I usually need to move forward; to know, see, prove, and explain. Trusting that I am blindly walking on a path constructed by the one who loves me the most, God, but I don’t necessarily know where is taking me. The emotions run on high sometimes because I want to know every single detail of my earthly journey and when I don’t I become anxious about the unknown. Having faith doesn’t mean I stay idle waiting for something; I must make the effort to move along somehow being hopeful and aware of what will unfold before me as I do, and then trust each step will take me closer to my goal.

Something strong could be chattered into dust and be rebuilt into something even stronger, different but stronger. When it doesn’t fill a good purpose anymore it is time to transform it, which is the beauty of starting anew. There is always hope for those who trust God and let themselves be molded like clay under a potter’s hand. There is power in letting go; because we are empty in order to be filled again with God’s grace, power and wisdom. I must not be blinded by what I see, but with what lies within a heart.

Gambling in Times of Uncertainty

7 06 2008


Uncertainty is sweeping the nation, nobody knows when the economy will improve and how to handle it until it does. Especially those young enough for this to be the first time that something like this happens to them. To me this is the second time around but by far the longest stretch of time I had to deal with it. I try to keep myself optimistic about this economic crisis but at times I feel I’m losing hope. Thank God is not enough to lose it altogether and somehow I hang on to the faith I have that it will get better. I try to keep looking at the bright side and notice what I have instead of what I don’t have. I keep hoping for a better day and working to attain new goals and dreams in my life.

Last night I was given what for many people would be bad news, a dear friend is leaving. In any other given time in the past it would have been a big blow to me emotionally but not last night. I somehow thought about him immediately, my concerns and needs were non existent. I only thought of him and what he needs at this moment. I was glad for him, it was a blessing to him to be able to make this move in his life. He was amazed at the reaction and expressed his worries in giving me the news. “I can’t think of me, I have to think of you,” it was all I could say. I heard the words and I knew they weren’t from my selfish self, it was from my spirit and my heart. By doing so I was able to accept a reality I was unable to change and found peace on the uncertainty I will find myself when he finally leaves.

Later on my dad called me excited about making one of his dreams come true. My mom asked me before she put him on the phone, “please don’t say no to your dad, he is so excited.” Never in a million years I would of thought that his dream has been one of mine for a long time; going on a cruise as a family. I think the last time we travelled together we were teenagers and we went to Disney World. Of course I was all excited until the analysis of what it will mean financially hit me and the uncertainty of how the situation will be when the time for this vacation comes, but the reservation had to be made now in order to get a good deal. Do we gamble all that money and hope we won’t have to cancel at the last minute or do we reserve and hope for the best? My dad decided to hope for the best, and I’m not surprised, he is always like that. He always gambles, takes risks and chances in life. Life is too short to worry too much about anything, everything works itself out at the end. Trust and hope are his key ingredients. So many times we stop ourselves from making our dreams come true for fear of the unknown, when in reality all we needed to do was push a little harder. I realize at the same time this opportunity will mean that I would have to make a big sacrifice, everything has a price tag and I must decide if I want to pay the price or not. It is not easy at times but we need to keep moving forward even if it is a millimeter at a time. We can’t stay stuck or we become stagnant. We need to keep our minds stimulated to think of new ways and ideas that might help change our present situation, we need to keep dreaming and even if we need to wait a little more for what we want or need to sacrifice it for the time been, to have the hope that in time it will come to be. That’s how I want to think at this moment. I won’t give up my dreams. I just will have to adjust the manner and time in which I’ll try to make them come true and hopefully it will work out at the end.

Clary Lopez, author of Simplicity, Richness of Life