The Present

To be silent is to face a challenge. I just returned from a silent retreat and I realize that it is so hard for people to remain silent for a long period of time, perhaps because we are used to the sound of our voice, to have our thoughts heard instead of trying to listen for an internal response. We are scared many times of whom we’ll find within us: a complete stranger. We feel uncomfortable to know of our faults and weaknesses and most of all of not knowing how to improve our spiritual life.

Today is my birthday, and it makes me think of what another year of life means to me. I’m thankful for the most for the priviledge to have life and health. I’ve managed to stay afloat among the many challenges which I have faced this past year and I try not to think much about the future. The present is all I have and I must concentrate on that every single day of my life. Fr. Healy reminded us about this reality this weekend, the present is a gift of God to us. Whenever I do the will of God you live in the present and I experience heaven on earth. It is so easy to miss my present by worrying about the past that’s gone or the future which is not here.

I’ve learned not to take anything or anyone for granted and most of all to put my trust in God in good and bad times. By accepting my nothingness before an awesome God and the little control I have over my life I’ve gained peace and tranquility in exchange. The Lord is the one who will direct my steps and direct my life, no one better than him to know what’s best for me. I confess that sometimes I feel like taking the control into my own hands but a massive wall raises before me letting me know that it is not my place to do so.