Controlled Flight

23 06 2010

Photography by Clary Lopez 2010

Well, I dreamt it again. Every so often I dream of flying and I will never forget my mom’s interpretation of that dream, Freedom. I am longing for freedom. Every time something or someone hold me back in any way in the direction I am going or wanting to go I get very emotional. It is hard enough to reveal the true essence of your being, your feelings, your dreams and wants to have to deal with something or someone who would shut it down to the grown. “Get real”, what is real, what is to take it slow in the midst of wanting something so bad you can taste it?

I have lived under control for so long but it hasn’t been without resistance. It is a constant battle to do what is right in the face of this world in which order is treasured. In the process we learn to place masks over our faces, our dreams, our desires… Is it alright to do that when the spirit dies slowly as the time goes by? I don’t have the answer, all I know is that at some point everything changes and one has to make the decision to go on the same way or to make some changes that would feel a little bit liberating to the soul.

I question sometimes how are we really to live this life on earth. Is it right to not be part of it for however long we have here and wait for the next? Is it so bad to live your life with sincerity? I am not talking about going crazy here, just be who you truly are without having to think too much the rest of the people around you. It is about expressing your feeling with liberty without being judged and showing others our true colors without shame. I guess rejection is what keep us chained in such a way that we can go in the way that everyone does, without causing any waves. Don’t rock the boat, some people say. Sometimes I feel like it, what the heck! Learn to sail, learn to swim, grab a lifesaver but whatever you do LIVE!

What is going inside me is amazing, at times even I get surprised by the feelings that all the sudden emerge. Like a balloon you try to keep under water, pressure over it for a while but if you let go a little it will pop to the surface with force. What’s better, to let it be where it belongs or to keep pressuring into something that doesn’t feels right for its nature? I guess we have to know ourselves pretty well to come to that decision.

Screwing Up the Next Generation

4 02 2009


I often wonder what can we truly expect from the next generation? It is clear to me that the way we raise them will determine the kind of individuals they will be and what I see happening around me is not offering me much hope.

It amazes me how lazy and irresponsible some kids are today, they are hardly held accountable for their actions and don’t have to do much in order to get all the conveniences they enjoy like a car, cell phone and computers. Some people think I am strict but my job is to raise kids that will eventually contribute something good to society. In the past parents watched out for each others kids and they were respected by the teens or kids in the neighborhood, today hardly nobody takes the time to even get to know their neighbors. I still believe that parents have the strongest influence on their kids but unfortunately these days parents want to be friends more than parents and they don’t believe that their kids are able to make the right choices for themselves. Obedience, respect for authority, following the law are all things that I teach and expect from my children but once they step out my door there is a whole different set of boundaries in their friend’s homes.

I was always amazed at how minors were able to smoke and drink freely when it is illegal. How do they get their stuff?? Sometimes they get it through older friends but now days most of them get them from their parents, and their parents allowed them to do it home because “they are going to do it anyway” so they might as well do it at home where they have “some control.” Wow! I don’t see how is that going to help them and what about the kids that aren’t theirs? What happens to them when they get behind the wheel of a car drunk? Is that what we are teaching our kids these days? That it is okay to brake the law as long as their parents know? I believe parents are doing a disservice to themselves, their children and to society as a whole, by the time they are 21 years old -if they have survived- they are either alcoholics or with some kind of record for misbehavior with the authorities, or a DUI. Excellent way to start! We as parents need to step up to the plate and show them by example the way things are and teach them to respect laws and authority. It all begin with us and if it doesn’t I don’t know what kind of individuals are going to run this nation 10-20 years from now. Sometimes I feel like I am swimming against the current and sooner or later will drown because I see no lifesaver coming my way. I feel totally alone on my points of view. Am I too old fashioned or do certain values always prevail no matter the times? I believe that there are some fundamental truths that never change and these are one of them.

What is your opinion?

Women and Feminism

17 08 2008

“To be somebody, a woman does not have to be more like a man, but has to be more of a woman.” Dr. Sally E. Shaywitz

It wasn’t that long ago that women had a different life than they have today; all that was expected of them was to be able to take care of the household, be a good wife and mother. Education was left to the males in the family putting the girls at a clear disadvantage. Feminism came to bring many opportunities to women to take advantage of and they began to be appreciated for things other than their ability to be good wives, homemakers and mothers which I believe are still few of the highest values for them. There is some good and bad in what we have accomplished so far, and in my opinion the choice to be a stay a home mom or in charge of their own financial situation is a great controversy, there is nothing wrong in being able to attain both.

On an article I read on More, Are Younger Women Trying To Trash Feminism?, Linda Hirshman and Rebecca Traister claimed that our daughters are not appreciating all the hard work feminist did in the past for them by not being feminist themselves. The young are ignorant of the battles fought for the rights they enjoy today including the right kill their own babies. Well, that is a right any woman should be “proud” of, don’t you think? They want to experience their sexuality but can’t live with the consequences. To me personally that is one of the negative that feminism brought about and one that have hurt many, many women. If you don’t believe me go to Silent No More Awareness. Life can’t be better when you have the right to get someone out of the way for good.

The article moves on to this irrational comment by Hirschnam, “And I cannot figure out why this basic lesson is taking so long to sink in. When I see a young women enjoying a movie like Juno, I go into orbit. To me, the idea that a 16-year-old should bear a child that she then has to give away is just atrocious. I feel the filmmakers are playing with fire.” I wonder where is all the education of this woman after I read this comment, doesn’t she know the difference between life and death? What is more atrocious? To me the intelligent thing to do is to give it away if you are not ready to raise a child, there are so many couples who would love to have a child and can’t conceive one, what’s so wrong about adoption?

To tell you the truth I believe feminism has made women less women and more of a men. Women have a very important and powerful role in the world other than to try to be men in our society, I wish they would come to realize that. On The Dignity and Vocation of Women I understood many of the gifts, talents and responsabilities of a woman in the world. Being a woman is not for wimps and we can make such a great impact if we do what we were created for. I understand that todays society and economic system requires that most women work outside as well as in the house, but that can’t be our sole purpose in life and the way to measure our worth. I do appreciate a lot of the fights won by feminists including the one on education, self-sustenance, the choice to work or stay home, freedom of expression and from oppression, among many others. But what I don’t see is the necessity to go to the extremes and step over someone else’s right to life -the unborn- and the disregard that the father figure is so necessary in the children lives. Yes, we can raise our kids alone if we need to, if the father is so irresponsible and abusive that they leave us no other choice, but that doesn’t mean it is better for the children and that we are ultimately better of without them.

I’m feminine not a feminist, what I mean is that I treasure the role given to me by God in the context where I can fully develop and make the biggest impact according to my womanhood. I do look for ways to grow and serve others as I do. I thank the courageous women who fought for some of the essential rights we were lacking, but try not to go beyond them and step over other people’s rights in order to obtain what I need or feel I deserve.

Let’s not be so disappointed by the wise acts of our young women today in not embracing what would truly hurt them in the long run and for not picking what seems to be an easy way out instead of what it takes courage and sacrifice, afterall that’s what a real woman is!

Clary Lopez, author of Simplicity, Richness of Life