Holding It In

9 09 2009

For the longest time we have been trained to hold things up. Living in a society demands that sometimes we don’t speak of certain topics or opinions. When it comes to relationships it is pretty much the same but one thing I know is that no communication=no relationship. Holding in opinions, emotions, hurt, ideas, disagreements, etc takes a toll on anyone. There is a fine line between being honest and rude, between expressing our frustration and insulting someone in the process. At times is best to just walk away. Words can’t never be taken back but not because of it we are to be so afraid to utter them, in some occasions they are essential to help resolve a situation.

Holding things in for too long only leads to an imminent explosion and out of control situation. There is only so much we all can take and for our own emotional and health we need to learn to release from time to time.

What is your experience with holding it in? Have you learned ways to release in order not to create too much pressure that will provoke an “explosion”?

Issues on Forgiveness

26 08 2009

Yesterday I listened on the radio about this man who got hurt by someone he loved, not physically but emotionally. In his effort to forgive he wondered what he should do to prevent it from happening again. The answer, even though very logical and true, made me think of my own actions in trying to control and protect myself from the same thing happening again. There are many things we can do to try to prevent a situation but we can’t stop anyone from doing what they want to do, it is their decision, and no matter how many barriers and obstacles we put on their way, if they want to do something they would find a way to do it anyway.

It is nerve racking to stay put and to wait for what could happen, it is difficult to stay and act like nothing happened, it is hard to think that you might have to go through it all over again. To forgive is not for the faint of heart, it is one of the most difficult things to do. I guess we try because we know that we are not perfect either and that in many occasions forgiveness has been given to us as well, especially from God. To forgive and forget is divine, no doubt, it is not in our nature. It is a fierce struggle to make it work and to break loose. It is a storm of emotions.

How do you feel about it? What is your experience with forgiveness?

Let Me Hear From You

26 03 2009

Today I thought about you and what are you going through. Tell me about your day, your challenges, your worries. I share on this blog a lot of different topics and describe many situations for you to reflect upon, but today I want to hear it from you. Would you tell me?

I Want To Know What Love Is

12 02 2009

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and with it comes a tension for many on what would be the best way to express their love. I believe that this day has been over commercialized and at the end it killed its spontaneity, most women end up with a set of preset gifts that means next to nothing to us to tell you truth.

Do you remember when you were in high school and didn’t have much money to get anything to your sweetheart? You had to be creative and that simple flower, a walk on the beach with wine, a ride on your convertible while listening to romantic music and a long kiss was enough to take us to heaven. It was the moment when a song played and he whispered, “That song is for you” That day forever lingered in our mind and heart. We saw so much love and tenderness from your eyes that made us sigh, melt inside. You contemplated our face and caressed our hair and whisper softly “I love you.” I received poems every once in a while and those were so meaningful to me since they came straight from his heart. I don’t claim to speak for all women but to me that was enough, it was the time he dedicated to me, the attention, the actions that spoke louder than the words.

Today, I am pretty much the same high school girl. I like the same things I liked back then and I love a well dressed man who smells wonderful while holding me in his arms. So go ahead, dare to be creative, be sincere, be simple, and be loving, I am sure she will love it.

I would love to know what you have planned for this day. What have you done in the past for your partner? Tell me about the best Valentine’s Day of your life.


The Delicate Matter of Trust

7 01 2009

“We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust someone – but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.”
Walter Anderson


Walter Anderson is absolutely right, trust is a delicate matter and one that holds all the possibilities or impossibilities when we think about the many facets of our life. Trust is the base to good relationships, business deals and future endeavors. It takes a leap of faith to open our heart to another human being.
Trust is something that is intricately related to our experiences; if we had good experiences when we trust people we tend to be trusting, if we have been betrayed it doesn’t come as easy.

I remember the first time I was betrayed, it was by my best friend. She started dating this guy who did not like me and as the relationship progressed he asked her to give up our friendship or him. She chose him. That experienced left me forever wounded. She was later dumped by the guy and came back to me, I forgave her but I never had the same relationship with her again. Up to this day it takes time for me to trust someone with my friendship even though I am learning not to expect the worst anymore. Now, unlike many years ago when it took me years to open myself to someone else, I offer my friendship to a few selected people and let it evolve. I am happy to say that I have a few loyal and sincere friendships and they help me and encourage me in more ways than one in whatever I want to accomplish in my life.

My trust has been betrayed in many different ways and by different people, and with each experience something very delicate inside me changes and that cast a whole new dimension to my present and future relationships. I am not sure if that is the right thing to do or if I should move on from those relationships and hold on to my integrity. I have to try very hard not to carry my issues of doubts and mistrust onto others who have nothing to do with it, but I guess it is an auto-defense mechanism. I also realize that at times I also have caused someone else not to trust me, so this topic goes both ways I guess. I believe that the best way to avoid this situation is to remain true to myself and present that to others, not trying to be what someone else wants me to be. The moment I try to please others in my life is the moment I start letting go of my innate being, there is no way I can live all my life like that and be happy.

There is no easy way to deal with these problems with trust and betrayal and like anything that I experienced I know I can learn something valuable from each challenge. I guess each person views it in a different light and act differently on the same situation but because they deal differently doesn’t mean I have do deal with it in the same way. I am entitled to deal with my situations with my own criteria and remain faithful to myself most of all, if I am going to betray myself in the process then there is really no hope for me or my future. I have heard so many times that we show others how to treat us, that I can’t ignore the fact.

God knows what he permits these experiences in my life, many of them teaches me valuable lessons and helps me develop virtues and that is all I am willing to take from them.

Love is Everything

22 12 2008

Yesterday I realized how important love is in our life. No wonder I was intrigued by it since I was a little girl and read about it on the Bible. There are many things that are part of our daily life and many skills we need to develop, specially if you are a girl but none of them, I came to realize, can replace our great need to love and be loved.

I always wondered how so many women got away with doing nothing in their household and still be loved by their partners. They don’t know how to clean, cook and a lot of them they can care less for kids and still they managed to have someone loving them by their side. It seems they concentrated on them and in loving their partners and in return men would do anything to keep them. These days you can see anything under the sun; from men raising kids to men cooking and cleaning after a hard day of work. I am not saying that men should not do these things, it is good that the couple share in their responsibility of their home but for the women to relinquish or neglect her responsibilities is another whole topic in itself.

So I wonder what is the calling of today’s women, has it changed for good or should we keep teaching our girls the basics of how to run and care for a household? Does it really matter?

Nobody is Perfect

12 12 2008

We all want it. The perfect relationship, the perfect partner, the perfect father/mother for our children, the perfect provider, etc. And let me tell you there are some GOOD DAMN ACTORS out there. If you are not careful you could live with one for a lifetime before you even know it. They get you in this comfortable zone where you are practically asleep, unaware of their true self.

Perfection is almost non-existent, we strive for it and we look for it in others but the truth is that -unfortunately- we need to be suspicious when we encounter it. Human nature is flawed and saints are uncommon, to think that we have found it in someone is fooling ourselves. Are you perfect? I’m not, and for the longest time I felt really bad about it specially when I compared myself to the one I thought was perfect. WHAT A FOOL. I thought that I was much wiser than I am, it looks I still have a lot to learn, we all do. Each relationship teaches me something I did not know, it is the only way to grow.

A dead branch has been cut off from me and it hurts, do you know why? Because it needs to be cut on the part that is still alive in order to stimulate growth, otherwise it will not sprout again. The same thing happens with our life, we many times need to cut right where we can feel we are still alive in order to make sure we got to the bottom of the circumstance. We need to be one with our pain to be transformed, to be shaped and molded into what we were meant to be. Then we need to be put through fire in order to harden, be useful and last longer.