And What About Grandma

9 10 2009


Time have changed so many things, one of them I believe is the way we see our grandmas. I remembered when visiting or receiving grandma at our home it was always a joyous occasion. I loved the way she listened to me and the special little things she would sometimes bring me, most of them were little and very inexpensive but just to know she thought of me was enough.

Life has become a place where you live where you can survive and not where you want to be. Families used to live closed to each other throughout their life and in that process they saw each other grow up and helped one another when needed. I won’t paint a rosie picture of the whole experience because sometimes there were moments you wished they were far away but grandmas somehow made things alright.

It breaks my heart to hear of grandmas being placed in nursing homes and then forgotten by their families. I realize that life moves so rapidly that before you know it your day is all gone; between work, house work, the kids, your spouse and all the activities you are lucky to have time for yourself. The days go by and grandma waits lonely in a cold room far away from all she holds dear, thinking that today maybe is the day she gets that visit, that call and nights fall down. Another day without you. She wonders why, how and for how long she will have to endure the pain and sorrow in her heart. Better days come to mind as her tears roll down her cheeks and wonder… If the grandma happens to be Hispanic and her kids moved to the United States now she has another barrier that keeps her faraway from her family, the language. It is so sad to see parents who replace their native language for the one they are living around now and don’t take the time and effort to teach their language to their kids. When grandma comes they can’t even talk anymore and they long to get to know them.

I thank God I lived in a generation that had the blessing to enjoy grandmas and that I had the chance to be with them a lot, I knew them and they knew me. They taught me their favorite dishes and made me my favorite food. I called them when I was far away and told them how much I missed and loved them. I also wrote letters to them. I played, I cried, I laughed and I grew to be who I am because of them. I learned by their mistakes and by their advice, and I was in awe when I heard all they went through. There is not a moment I did not want to be with them, even on their death bed and I will forever love and carry them in my heart.

So what about your grandma? Your kids’ grandma? Have you taken the time to talk or visit them today? Do you know she is waiting for you and no matter how long it has been she will still love you just the same as if you were there yesterday, even though you were not?

Standing Tall

30 09 2009


Nobody said we need to be work shipped, honored, or adored but one thing I believe we all need to be is respected. Respected for who we are, what we hold dear and most of all respected as a human being. Everyone is entitled to that because we were created in the image of God.

When someone is disrespected normally they look for some way of retaliation and in that process they may even hurt those associated with them in order to cause even more damage. I don’t believe such behavior should go unpunished. Anyone who willfully look for ways to hurt others must be ready for the same. How could anyone in their right mind complain about the effects of a bad action without looking at how they whole thing started? With them. Now, I am not saying that I haven’t done any bad things in my life but I have tried not to do them intentionally.

Revenge is a strong word and one I don’t like to be associated with but many actions could be called revenge. Now, what I do believe in is in standing tall in the face of insults, humiliation and hurt. There comes a time when I need to stand firm on my ground and let others know that is not okay to disrespect me in any way, shape or form. Sometimes the measures that need to be taken in order for them to listen are drastic but the main thing is that they are crystal clear to the individual. If possible I would not like to remind them of the boundaries set forth in the discussion but I would not hesitate to do so if necessary. This is my modus operandi right now and it will continue to be. Passive no more.

What do you do to stand tall?

Esoteric Realms

21 09 2009


I yearn for silence, for solitude, for those moments when my mind is detached in such a way that is able to fly and go places I have never being and I understand in ways it was impossible before. It is a ray of light illuminating my mind, my heart and soul and then the thoughts, emotions, and words are free to flow easily. It hasn’t been the case for a long time now, I lost track of time in the middle of turmoil, noise and pain. I need to get it back somehow. I’m coming back to the original place where all seem to be so right and creativity flourished almost effortlessly. It is never in total isolation but in the sharing of like minds and thoughts that somehow sustain and inspire to create even more. It is to find that connection of the seen and unseen that completes the picture many times. I am not sure who would understand, perhaps only those who have experience or yearn to experience the same. I don’t believe it is a unique gift but it is something few touch upon because those few are the ones with enough courage to claim the space they need to experience it. It is not easy sometimes, especially when there are so many other things out of control and most of the time we want to control them. In the end the one who suffer is the one with their wings tied up.

Words are like the air I breathe, without them flowing I feel like dying. There are integral to my well being and my health, it is not good to bottle up emotions, anger and hate. A volcano can not be contained. I am afraid that is what I have done as the tremors shook deep within loosing up the soil and fragmenting what used to be solid. It is new terrain, one that I am sure in time can be even better than it was. Dreaming gives hope and refreshes the soul, it is something to look forward to even though we don’t know the way. It is taking one step at a time expecting to succeed. Not everything fall on a straight line, and everything that does not works out fine all the time, the more delightful rides sometimes are the ones on a scenic route even though it takes longer. I can’t keep starring at the many curves, turns and crossroads while I miss the view around me. I need to stop and walk slowly in order not to miss the details of what is trying to touch me and transform me.

I see an open gate, a cool fresh dawn before me and a inspiring breeze letting me know I am still alive. I close my physical eyes and open my inner vision, then I breathe in. The tension goes away and rushing through comes my long forgotten friend, inspiration. Where has it been? Why it took so long? Why did I let it go? Who said I could control my fate, or what others decide to do in the end? Who said I would never get hurt again? It was a really good try, a good run, one I thought I won but found myself instead with an empty shell. There is an ideal but never an absolute, there is always a way to find the way.

The Way We Measure

15 09 2009

We measure many things; our behavior, our talents, our tolerance, our kindness, our emotions, our love, our commitments, etc. As you can tell from my examples I am talking about our qualities or faults measure against someone else. I guess I never paid much attention to it before but lately it is really bothering me, perhaps because I can clearly see how short we all come to perfection, to that image we want to portray many times and that is very far from reality. I have never claimed to be perfect, good, talented, or anything like that. I do recognize some of my gifts but I try not to talk about it or compare myself to anyone. I do try to emulate good people even though I know I fail many times and come short to many of their best qualities and virtues. That is the reason why it really bothers me when someone goes into their high chair and hit their breast while they list the number of ways they are better than the person next to them for whatever reason. It bothers me because in the process they put down other individuals around them, it might not be intentional and they might not realize how the other person feels, but they do hurt and sometimes humiliate others.

This Bible verse says it clearly:

“He said to them, “Take heed what you hear. With whatever measure you measure, it will be measured to you, and more will be given to you who hear.” Mark 4:24

And it has been in my mind for a long time. Every person is different and everyone will decide for themselves in which way to respond to different situations and responsibilities in their life even though you had the opportunity and privilege to raise or teach them. In the end it is on them and we get no more respect from anyone by telling others how good we are. Let’s learn to be humble and to keep our mouth shot most of the time, it will serve us well and let other instead tell us how good or bad we are.

Holding It In

9 09 2009

For the longest time we have been trained to hold things up. Living in a society demands that sometimes we don’t speak of certain topics or opinions. When it comes to relationships it is pretty much the same but one thing I know is that no communication=no relationship. Holding in opinions, emotions, hurt, ideas, disagreements, etc takes a toll on anyone. There is a fine line between being honest and rude, between expressing our frustration and insulting someone in the process. At times is best to just walk away. Words can’t never be taken back but not because of it we are to be so afraid to utter them, in some occasions they are essential to help resolve a situation.

Holding things in for too long only leads to an imminent explosion and out of control situation. There is only so much we all can take and for our own emotional and health we need to learn to release from time to time.

What is your experience with holding it in? Have you learned ways to release in order not to create too much pressure that will provoke an “explosion”?

Life Lessons on Letting Go

1 09 2009

It was a long time coming, the years go by and before you know it your kids are no kids anymore. At first one refuse to see it or accept and we try to hold on, one more year, one more month, one more day, one more hour but as the time goes by the tension grows greater as we try to hold on. The moment comes and the pressure is such that you just have to let go. It is painful, at first I felt lost and unneeded, sometimes even unwanted, but it has been almost couple of weeks and it is a relief not to have to be after anyone. Everyone is responsible for their own schedule and work. It is tempting not to try to help or ask too many questions but at the same time it is liberating.

This is the time to begin to recreate my life in so many ways; emotionally, physically and spirituality. It is a time to open doors and windows and see what is out there that I could not see, hear and experience for so long. My focus is slowly changing from raising and caring to the spontaneity of each and every day. It is not easy sometimes when you are used to structure and routine but at the same time is exciting. Time will pass until I am completely accustomed to this new way of living and new role in my life. I love to direct and guide and now all I will have to do (hope so) is assist. Watching how the decisions are made, right or wrong, while standing on the sidelines in not an easy task. I want to jump right in and make it alright. I guess every mom wants to do the same but it is time to let go.

As another day begins all I can say is that I am thankful for the years past no matter how hard they were, and that I look forward for the years to come which will come with new and unknown experiences. May they be as memorable and fulfilling as the time when we as a family laid a strong foundation.

Issues on Forgiveness

26 08 2009

Yesterday I listened on the radio about this man who got hurt by someone he loved, not physically but emotionally. In his effort to forgive he wondered what he should do to prevent it from happening again. The answer, even though very logical and true, made me think of my own actions in trying to control and protect myself from the same thing happening again. There are many things we can do to try to prevent a situation but we can’t stop anyone from doing what they want to do, it is their decision, and no matter how many barriers and obstacles we put on their way, if they want to do something they would find a way to do it anyway.

It is nerve racking to stay put and to wait for what could happen, it is difficult to stay and act like nothing happened, it is hard to think that you might have to go through it all over again. To forgive is not for the faint of heart, it is one of the most difficult things to do. I guess we try because we know that we are not perfect either and that in many occasions forgiveness has been given to us as well, especially from God. To forgive and forget is divine, no doubt, it is not in our nature. It is a fierce struggle to make it work and to break loose. It is a storm of emotions.

How do you feel about it? What is your experience with forgiveness?