Misplaced for a year and longing to be by the shore. I am thankful that for the time I must be here, the shore is not too far away. I sit on the sand close to the wave breaker and contemplate the beauty of the big body of water before me. I listen to the melodic sounds of the waves as they come to meet the shore and the birds as they get ready to feed before the sunset. There is always a lot of people around me but not with me. Families playing in the water, couples walking on the shore, moms taking pictures of their sons and friends having a good time while the beautiful sunset colors paint the background of their memories.
Time and space seems to stand still but as I see the sun go down I know time is passing even if I would like to hold on to that moment for an eternity. I keep asking God what can I do to remain by the shore, to remain in the peace and tranquility of that moment. There are so many unanswered questions but somehow I know he is moving along where I should be and that in time I will know the answer.
Last night in talking to a friend I got part of that answer and perhaps it was not what I expected but it is becoming clear to me. In the uncertainty of my personal life and in trying to make lifetime decisions I was steered away of my thoughts about what I should give up. I must be strong and stand up to demand what I’ve earn during twenty-five years of sacrifice of my life. That sacrifice yield a legacy that I am still trying to lead towards excellence. It is an individual choice at this point but my children are my treasure and I will always be close to them whenever they need me. God knows the urgency to resolve my personal affairs so that I can return home, he won’t let me be one minute late. I ask him not to let those who gave me life to suffer alone on their last days on earth.
I will be back and by the shore because that is what my heart tells me I will be. It is the only place I see myself whole and content for the rest of my earthly life. It won’t be too long my dear ones; it won’t be too long…