Pretty Incredible

8 10 2010

I have to admit it, even if I don’t want to, but life is pretty incredible. Full of unexpected moments, amazing people and unforgettable moments. In a split of a second you can be living your now, your past or dream of your future. There are so many things that affect the way I think and feel and yet at the end I hold the bargaining chip. One thing I really don’t like is when I have no saying in whatever situation, when someone else steps in and kind of scattered whatever is going on at the moment and changes everything. I’m left with a sense of loss and frustration because of all of the sudden the moment is out of my hands, into eternity. Who knows what would have happened next, and all I can do is wait and see.

I was in the situation long time ago and my expectations were never achieved because someone came in between and altered the moment. I reproached that person a few times but I was told that if it was really meant to be it would have come around one more time. Maybe it was the truth, maybe it wasn’t. Some things in life only comes once. Now that I think about it I began to understand that it was at that moment that my romantic relationship formation began to be formed, very traumatically.

Life is a journey while love is the path, our understanding of love affects the way I travel along that journey I am supposed to move towards my ultimate goal. It is not the same when the path is unblocked and smooth than when is full of obstacles and challenges. One learn not to do and protect themselves along the way according to past experiences. The more negative the experiences, the person turns more enclosed. The more positive, the more open and relaxed.

I’ve been reminded of how liberating it could be to speak freely of what I feel, without given it a second thought, however we are conditioned to do exactly the opposite along our life. Our real self is not as well accepted by many and before we know it, we are hiding behind a well guarded mask because that is what the world is able to handle and see. Nobody wants to look at the reality of other individuals, it feels uncomfortable sometimes. Individuality is okay until you come into others “space” or want to share a life with them.

All in all I have to say how incredible it is to tap into certain areas of our life and be able to dig out new information, emotions, feelings. It is like renewing the soul, like giving it something it missed before and longed for and yet that did not need in order to survive. In time everything and everyone finds a way to go on, for better or worse. Sometimes even to repeat the same mistakes from past but others carefully guarding themselves not to.

What is your experience?



4 responses

19 10 2010
Chica Fabulosa

Hi Clary, its me equilibrium2008. I change my blogsite btw and also I have an award for you

29 10 2010

Thank you! Just visited your blog. Glad you are blogging again!

8 12 2010

felt like I was reading a portion of Emerson on Relationships 🙂 …I can’t remember the title….but you touched on something near and dear to my heart…the desire to be known and appreciated for who I am w/o having to wear a mask. Growing up, (I’m talking way back/ highschool days) I was a “relational cameleon” It all came to a head when I saw the relationship with this girl I really liked begin to unravel, I could sense she was starting to loose interest….I shared with her my frustrations of not honestly knowing how to relate. It felt like a dam burst inside. She eventually became my wife and still is 31 yrs later. I think you’re right. People are guarded to protect themselves….Emerson said it’s like we all have this thick husk…. Sounds like you’re still going through some deep waters emotionally. You have a passionate loving personality and because of it, I think you feel things deeper than the person who doesn’t.

5 01 2011

That is awesome, 31 years! Congratulations. It’s true, sometimes I feel so intensely that it scares me and when it hurts it seems to hurt for an eternity. This will take time and courage on my part. I used to be so bold, lol. Happy New Year!

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