And What About Grandma

9 10 2009

519090_granny

Time have changed so many things, one of them I believe is the way we see our grandmas. I remembered when visiting or receiving grandma at our home it was always a joyous occasion. I loved the way she listened to me and the special little things she would sometimes bring me, most of them were little and very inexpensive but just to know she thought of me was enough.

Life has become a place where you live where you can survive and not where you want to be. Families used to live closed to each other throughout their life and in that process they saw each other grow up and helped one another when needed. I won’t paint a rosie picture of the whole experience because sometimes there were moments you wished they were far away but grandmas somehow made things alright.

It breaks my heart to hear of grandmas being placed in nursing homes and then forgotten by their families. I realize that life moves so rapidly that before you know it your day is all gone; between work, house work, the kids, your spouse and all the activities you are lucky to have time for yourself. The days go by and grandma waits lonely in a cold room far away from all she holds dear, thinking that today maybe is the day she gets that visit, that call and nights fall down. Another day without you. She wonders why, how and for how long she will have to endure the pain and sorrow in her heart. Better days come to mind as her tears roll down her cheeks and wonder… If the grandma happens to be Hispanic and her kids moved to the United States now she has another barrier that keeps her faraway from her family, the language. It is so sad to see parents who replace their native language for the one they are living around now and don’t take the time and effort to teach their language to their kids. When grandma comes they can’t even talk anymore and they long to get to know them.

I thank God I lived in a generation that had the blessing to enjoy grandmas and that I had the chance to be with them a lot, I knew them and they knew me. They taught me their favorite dishes and made me my favorite food. I called them when I was far away and told them how much I missed and loved them. I also wrote letters to them. I played, I cried, I laughed and I grew to be who I am because of them. I learned by their mistakes and by their advice, and I was in awe when I heard all they went through. There is not a moment I did not want to be with them, even on their death bed and I will forever love and carry them in my heart.

So what about your grandma? Your kids’ grandma? Have you taken the time to talk or visit them today? Do you know she is waiting for you and no matter how long it has been she will still love you just the same as if you were there yesterday, even though you were not?


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7 responses

10 10 2009
Tony

Unfortunately my grandmother passed away 12 years ago. I actually used to press her to move in with me. She was fiercely independent and would have none of it. I certainly do miss her. My mother lives in PR so I send for her frequently so that my kids can have some sort of relationship with her. Cant convince her to move in with me either. When I ask her she says “Yo no estoy muerta todavia!” So in other words, she equates moving in with me, with death. LOL. Whatcha gonna do eh?

10 10 2009
clary

Well Tony, your grandma was one of the lucky ones that did not end in a nursing home, good for her!! In reference to your mom I know the feeling, it is hard to live with someone else even if they are family, you have to give up and sacrifice a lot to merge into someone else’s life. Bring her over frequently and go there as well, that will have to do in these days. Enjoy her!!

11 10 2009
Cousin

My grandparents all died over a decade ago now.

Quite apart from your point of view about the grandparent, given that our parents hold the photos of our various grandparents, I sometimes wonder if I remember how they looked.

Family constantly remark that I am essentially the double of my grandfather when he was younger.

14 10 2009
samnangp

I know what you mean about grandmothers and how things have changed. For most of my life my grandmother lived a few houses away from us. She would look after my sister and I when my parents would go out; she would walk to our house every Christmas morning which was a real thrill for my sister and I because we could not open gifts until she arrived; and when I got old enough I used to mow her lawn and shovel her snow. She made THE BEST Dutch Apple pie, and frozen pumpkin pie (pumpkin and ice cream mixed and put in a crust) because she started working in a bakery when she was 12 and knew exactly how to prepare dough and crusts. In her life she was struck by lightning twice – once as a teenager, and once when she was 88 years old. She survived both! She was the closest person to me (yes, even closer than my parents or sister) and when she died I was devastated.

17 10 2009
Hicham

I don’t know how people can have this idea of placing their grandpa/grandma in any nursering house arround the world. They are always valuable and I came through an idea -at leadt in the Arab World- that they play important role in raising up children better than the parents sometimes especially if the parents are working because in this case, grandpa/ma devote their time for the kids!

24 10 2009
Bill Howdle

Just popped in to say hi. I am sorry it has been a while since I have last visited. As a blogging friend I am asking you to join with me on Nov. 1st. I am having an “I am Alive” celebration. That date marks the 6th anniversary of the date my doctor told me I might have 2 years left if I was lucky. That is something for me to celebrate. But, in the phrase “I am Alive” I ask all to see the word “I” as referring to themselves. Can we make it a day in which we all just celebrate being alive.

I have just past the 3rd anniversary of my blog. Please also join in that by sharing any memories from the past about the blog. I am memory guy and do forget so much. Please remind me. I do hope to see you on Noveber 1st.Oh, being a double celebration for me I am asking for gifts. Random acts of kindness as I have done in the past.

25 10 2009
Ryszard

I am sorry Clara that so late I answer but through the this month it gathered to me about 700 emails. I look all and I answer.
I must to you say that I discovered in you my spiritual sister you are such herself mad incorrect romantic as I.
How about you? Is it hard for you to be civilized?
This your question is very important and deep. To himself should on it answer every man, answer so deeply with the thought.
Long I thought as on it to answer, surely this will be not one mail. The accident and the stay in the hospital was such sometimes the reflection over the own life. How I this life consumes, what is for me surrounding me the world with all his mad progress. Whether I have to go with this progress with the civilization whether to stand up close by and to go his own way.
Very strongly returned to me my youth when adventure-addicted I joined forming myself just special powers.
What I was proud that I had been able to survive the month having nothing except the knife that buried in snow I had been able to survive fortnight on 25 the gradual frost that I had been able to mine and to put down all, to shoot and to hit running. The reflection came when they began to teach us to kill people. This is just the civilization, the modern civilization, manslaughters of the wars, the terrorism, special powers to defense Whether this is the proper way. Whether the civilization does not wander. Whether an only interpretation of the civilization is the ruthless on existence fight. I do not know this. A lot I meditate over this.
Then I left. I do not know what of it still able after 30 years once only I had to without competency to survive fortnight in the great foreign city.
I think that Lord wanted to say to me there in the hospital: I see taught you to build the civilization, to build the progress, to build the modernity. You learnt to destroy this what itself you built. And now see which are fragile a creature, you the destroyer. Was enough several glasses of the vodka and your life hung on the hair.
The civilization is given God. It is necessary to know from his gifts to use. One cannot destroy God′s gifes
ryszard

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