Esoteric Realms

21 09 2009

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I yearn for silence, for solitude, for those moments when my mind is detached in such a way that is able to fly and go places I have never being and I understand in ways it was impossible before. It is a ray of light illuminating my mind, my heart and soul and then the thoughts, emotions, and words are free to flow easily. It hasn’t been the case for a long time now, I lost track of time in the middle of turmoil, noise and pain. I need to get it back somehow. I’m coming back to the original place where all seem to be so right and creativity flourished almost effortlessly. It is never in total isolation but in the sharing of like minds and thoughts that somehow sustain and inspire to create even more. It is to find that connection of the seen and unseen that completes the picture many times. I am not sure who would understand, perhaps only those who have experience or yearn to experience the same. I don’t believe it is a unique gift but it is something few touch upon because those few are the ones with enough courage to claim the space they need to experience it. It is not easy sometimes, especially when there are so many other things out of control and most of the time we want to control them. In the end the one who suffer is the one with their wings tied up.

Words are like the air I breathe, without them flowing I feel like dying. There are integral to my well being and my health, it is not good to bottle up emotions, anger and hate. A volcano can not be contained. I am afraid that is what I have done as the tremors shook deep within loosing up the soil and fragmenting what used to be solid. It is new terrain, one that I am sure in time can be even better than it was. Dreaming gives hope and refreshes the soul, it is something to look forward to even though we don’t know the way. It is taking one step at a time expecting to succeed. Not everything fall on a straight line, and everything that does not works out fine all the time, the more delightful rides sometimes are the ones on a scenic route even though it takes longer. I can’t keep starring at the many curves, turns and crossroads while I miss the view around me. I need to stop and walk slowly in order not to miss the details of what is trying to touch me and transform me.

I see an open gate, a cool fresh dawn before me and a inspiring breeze letting me know I am still alive. I close my physical eyes and open my inner vision, then I breathe in. The tension goes away and rushing through comes my long forgotten friend, inspiration. Where has it been? Why it took so long? Why did I let it go? Who said I could control my fate, or what others decide to do in the end? Who said I would never get hurt again? It was a really good try, a good run, one I thought I won but found myself instead with an empty shell. There is an ideal but never an absolute, there is always a way to find the way.


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2 responses

26 09 2009
samnangp

can definitely see the artistry returned to your writing… a wonderful blend of the reality with imagery in this post!

may the refreshing breeze of inspiration continue to blow gently through your soul refreshing you and invigorating your perceptions

26 09 2009
clary

Thank you Samnangp, it takes time and lots of silence but hopefully I will be able to continue.

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