Issues on Forgiveness

26 08 2009

Yesterday I listened on the radio about this man who got hurt by someone he loved, not physically but emotionally. In his effort to forgive he wondered what he should do to prevent it from happening again. The answer, even though very logical and true, made me think of my own actions in trying to control and protect myself from the same thing happening again. There are many things we can do to try to prevent a situation but we can’t stop anyone from doing what they want to do, it is their decision, and no matter how many barriers and obstacles we put on their way, if they want to do something they would find a way to do it anyway.

It is nerve racking to stay put and to wait for what could happen, it is difficult to stay and act like nothing happened, it is hard to think that you might have to go through it all over again. To forgive is not for the faint of heart, it is one of the most difficult things to do. I guess we try because we know that we are not perfect either and that in many occasions forgiveness has been given to us as well, especially from God. To forgive and forget is divine, no doubt, it is not in our nature. It is a fierce struggle to make it work and to break loose. It is a storm of emotions.

How do you feel about it? What is your experience with forgiveness?


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10 responses

26 08 2009
samnangp

Do you think that trust is part of forgiveness? Or is it possible to forgive someone without trusting them?

26 08 2009
clary

Trust is a huge part in the equation of forgiveness and unfortunately it is one of the first things that we lose. I think there are two ways to go about this; we either forgive and move on with the relationship or forgive and go on without it. If we decide to preserve the relationship we must regain the trust.

29 08 2009
samnangp

It seems that the victim is always the one with the greatest test of character. In order to restore/preserve a relationship the one who was wronged is the one who must forgive, and who must learn to trust again. This is true not only of marital relations, but also family, friends, and business relations.

If we have been wronged, do you think it is possible to trust the other person or entity 100% again? I am not thinking about a small slight, but rather of a deeply-cutting, traumatic experience. Will there always be a hesitation, a “looking-for-something-deeper” suspicion as we continue on?

“once bitten, twice shy” as the saying goes.

29 08 2009
clary

I sincerely could not tell you because I have never gone through it before. Maybe someone can tell us.

30 08 2009
samnangp

🙂

31 08 2009
Bill

Trust is a very important part of any relationship. Many almost seem to think trust is or should automatically be given and take it for granted that they are trusted.
True, deep and intimate trust must be earned. Only with time and behavior can it be earned.
If your deep trust is given to someone and they destroy it, it is one of the most devistating things that can happen to a person. If a trust is betrayed and lost, can you ever trust that person again? i believe trust can be regained. But for that to happen it would require BOTH sides to do a lot of work within themselves.
Forgiveness plays a large part in it. If we are wise we forgive to cleanse our hearts of pain. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. Can trust be regained, I think so but I am not sure if it would be to the full level it was before.

2 09 2009
Manuel Mendoza

Forgiveness Means Forgetting ,other wise You can not move on,with out thinking what happen,the why’,the why’s not etc.,
In relationships its up to both parties to accept the process of forgiveness,
and restart the trust again,,
But sometimes it all depends on How Hurt One Is ,to actually Forgive
if it runs real deep an its a continue-s of mor hurts ,
then there is no TRUST At All….

29 09 2009
clary

My humble opinion is that it is not humanly possible to forgive and forget, that is something divine.

27 04 2011
Louis White

A friend of mine talked to me about your blog and I am glad I found you. As you well say, it is only through God’s heart that we can forgive and move on. As humans we always remember, but because of God we are able to see the situation, whatever it is, as a lesson not as a bitter memory that plays on and on and on.
Even though my thoughts come almost 2 years after your posted this, I hope you still find them helpful. God bless!

24 05 2011
clary

Welcome to my blog Louis, thank you for your comment.

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