Always Tested

22 05 2009


Today I got the title for this post from a comment I received. It is true, we are always tested. The last six months has been very hard for me and perhaps that is why you come here and find nothing new written. I am submerged in trials, emotions, worries and disillusion. It is life, and the result of many decisions, good and bad, I and others have made in our life. It is a maze in which we struggle to find our way and hope to emerged alive. I was overwhelmed with pain and emotions yesterday and my first thought was to talk to my mother, she is always eager to listen and guide me in difficult moments. Then it was to a dear friend and I asked her to have lunch with me in order to talk to her for a while, she is always able to counsel me and make me think about the possible results of my decisions, decisions that I sometimes want to act upon in moments when my mind is not completely clear. I guess many of us do that sometimes, we want to react in a moment of great emotion and if we do most of the time we regret it. By now I have learned to reach out to others before I do and that has minimized the bad outcomes. Anyway, on my way to have lunch with my friend a million thoughts and emotions raced through my mind and body, I should have not been behind the wheel to tell you the truth. I was not completely aware of everything that was going around me and I didn’t remember seeing the exit I needed to take right off the interstate, it must have been at least 3 miles. I got off in the next exit and realized that I was not on the right road, I called her and effectively I had passed the exit and I told her the last exit I remembered seeing, that scared me. I was tempted to go home without seeing her because I was scared I would get into an accident trying to get to her, my mind was not all there, but I was not too far and she convinced me to go on. Being with her and her sister gave me the support and strength to take my next step, God bless them for that.

Today I need to do couple more things and I have to admit that I am scared, I hate confrontation but I need to do this in order to defend and protect my territory, nobody is going to invade and take over without a good fight. We all have our difficult moments and challenges but love moves us to create ways to sustain, feed and survive our problems and situations. I see now how many people can get tired and discouraged and don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes I don’t either. In my darkness I cry out for help, physical and spiritual, and if I manage not to runaway I always find my way. I am not sure what kind of answers I am going to get as I move along the path before me, but whatever it is I will face it and try to make the best of it. At the end I will look back and whatever the circumstances or results and I will be able to find something positive about it because God always brings forth something good from all the ordeals, challenges and tragedies in my life, that is my consolation.



One response

24 05 2009
Manuel Mendoza

I ‘m glad you found God to b the best Consolor ,but being you where not all together You felt lost,,,All of us at one time or the other have gone thru what you went thru. And sometimes even frnds can not help us in these types of situations. At times we must dig deep to find what is going on,an try to see it
from the outside,as if someone else was there to give you that advice we seek.
People like Us who are either Teachers,Doctors,Advocates,Lawyers,Social workers,Parents,Physcologist( PPL Helping Other PPPL With Their Troubles)
Find it hard to locate others that would Help US over come Our setBacks.
Most PPL look for US to help them see the light at the end of the Tunnel,or to
give them advice to there situations that they find hard to understand or undertake. So Yes If You have Faith,deeply rooted in you,You will at least
know that thee info you are reading is the best advice there is,to deal with just bout any dealings that are out there ,,,Of Course if we as PPL don’t seek that advice or think we could do better,then We should not blame others for Our Lack of.

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