True to Yourself

4 01 2009

Today I reflect upon this point which I read on the book The Invitation;

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself.

I struggle with this every single day. I am me in moments when I am surrounded by those who accept me just the way I am. When I do, I feel happy and relaxed but those moments have been far and long in between. One of my new year resolutions is to be myself but it is not as easy as it seems. At this point of my life, and given the circumstance that I am living now I question, when did I begin to let go of myself and instead placed an acceptable personality for others? I guess it was the time I feared that there was no other way for someone else to embrace me. How wrong I was. In reality the only way to live a peaceful and meaningful life is to live a life surrounded by light, truth and integrity. I am glad to say that the people who love me the most are the ones who know me completely, faults and all. But there is still a small group of people who don’t know me no matter how hard they try. They are the ones who are continuously pointing and judging my every move and intentions, the ones that are so insecure around me that they feel they have to hold me back or down and can’t be glad to see me happy away from them.

Now the big question is, would I disappoint another to be true to myself? I have to say yes even if it is very hard, but I know in my heart that the time will come and I will have to stand on my own. The ones who truly love me will remain beside me and the others will most likely walk away perhaps forever. I will have to learn to live with that in order to embrace my life and be able to accomplish my mission, there is no other way to do so. I can’t be dragging with other people’s problems because by doing so I am allowing them to take control of my life. Only God should have control of my life and I should be the instrument he chooses in order to accomplish something good during my earthly existence.

What about you?


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4 responses

4 01 2009
pochp

If we try to be true, someone will always hate us for that.

6 01 2009
InnerJoy Megan

Clary, in reading some of your words I think, “My gosh, that’s just what I was feeling at such & such a time last year.” I was in an unhealthy relationship with someone who claimed to love me – even claimed to be my biggest supporter – but who would put me down or ridicule the parts of me he didn’t understand or those parts he feared (the joyful, spiritual parts, ironically enough!). When I finally had it and walked away, that’s when he’d soften and try to implore my forgiving, compassionate nature. If I let myself enter his unhealthy, manipulative world again, though, it started all over again (his judgment, fear, anger, etc.).

In working through the end of that relationship, the best thing I was able to do is keep striving to get back to the real me. See, I’d given up parts of myself to be in that unhealthy relationship (boy it didn’t look unhealthy when it started!), so when the Universe gave me the strength and freedom to move on, I pointed all the energy I’d been spending on the relationship toward me instead.

It’s hard, at first, to give up a relationship (ANY relationship). Being alone feels ridiculously unnecessary, but in time, all those cliches start to ring true: learning to love yourself; learning how to be alone; etc. God I hated those flippin’ cliches for the longest time!

Anyway, I apologize for rambling — the point I wanted to make is that the best person we can be is our true self. Our most important job is to live as authentically as possible, because when we do, we attract other authentic people. We will always attract who and what we are. If we’re critical of ourselves, we attract those who are critical of us. If we love & accept ourselves, we attract those who love & accept us.

You can always tell where you are on your spiritual journey by the people who show up; they’re like trail markers along the way.

Keep shining! You’re doing great, and your learning reaches all of us.

~ Megan

7 01 2009
Arthur Henn

Clary, this flowing heart of yours never stops amazing me with the the love you sincerely share with all of us. Clary you are a gift of love, you are the binder of my soul that holds what I write and what I have written together.

Clary has compiled a legacy of poems that I have written. She has a special place in this heart of mine and her spirit will never leave me.

We are only friends, loyal friends as I’m sure she is with many of you.

Clary, this poem is for you. It was inspired by a story I’m trying to write based upon a love that a poet longs for and is missing, but has been brought back to a newness of life through the love of a poetess share across the sea of love.

A Gift of Love

He looks upon a woman’s heart
One he longs to hold
A heart of love, a heart to care for
Rests upon the heart of his soul
A valued heirloom, a poet’s heritage,
Flows across their sea of love
The legacy of a poet’s pen
A story unfolds

© Arthur Henn 2009
1/06/09

What you have written above is heartfelt, it touches base here at home. I’ve thought about your question here.

would I disappoint another to be true to myself?

Sure I would, we have to, if we won’t be true to ourselves, who will. No one really knows our feelings, emotions and what were dealing with better than ourselves except our creator and we have to open our hearts to him like opening a journal that know one sees and express what we want him to read through our prayers.

He may not answer right away, but everything is in his own timing. We just have to listen to our hearts and hear him whisper to us.

I know you are a woman of God and I know he has his arms around you, even at times when we may think he doesn’t.

(((Hugs)))

Friends Forever!

7 01 2009
clary

Megan, thank you so much for sharing with me your experiences, I am sure they will help me and many others going through difficult and changing times in their lives. I hope I also find a way to continue growing taking with me the lessons all my experiences have provided.

Art, thank you for your kind words.

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