Not All Is As It Seems

15 12 2008


There is a certain perception people get from us as we move, talk and deliver subtle tones and mannerisms. They say a lot about who we are, or does it? Not so, many times we live behind smoking mirrors and masks placed there by circumstances and many times by life experiences. Are we to judge another for it? That is a delicate situation, I try not to because at the end of the road only the one traveling knows all the details of that journey and how hard it was to reach the present moment. I also don’t know their true challenges or intentions. Nobody likes to accept that something is wrong with them and if they do it is because they see no other alternative.

At one point or another we might be called to face reality and -as hard as it might be- we need to learn to embrace it. Each one of us know exactly how we can be reached deep inside but we don’t dare tell a soul unless we trust them. Peeling the layers to expose the tender areas of our being is much too risky for us to voluntarily let another see. It is like being in war and stand in the middle of road without any armor or weapons on; we feel as an easy target. To walk out and surrender is inconceivable.

People who have been abused in some way (physically, mentally or emotionally) in the past are the ones who look to control everything around them in order not to get hurt again. By stopping the normal flow of life in general and look for ways to channel it the way they want creates an unnatural circumstance that in time tends to follow their own natural course. Not knowing what to do, all becomes confusion and their world comes tumbling down. Controlling the normal flow of life is only a self-protection mechanism and in time and with the right mode of communication channels the walls of protection can come down.

Stereotyping, judging, criticizing and measuring changes does not stimulate the necessary trust to create improvement. I don’t know you, but I don’t like to be compared to anyone. I remember when my mom used to compared me with my cousin; She thought that by giving me an example that it would help me behave in a different manner, it was the opposite, I was deeply offended. How dare someone tells me that someone is better than me? Instead of stimulating me to change it makes me go in the opposite direction. If nobody can see the good in me -which by the way could be very different qualities than others- I doubt very much I would reveal it after been challenge to do so. I’m guilty to do that sometimes with my kids but at the same time I try to look for the uniqueness of each of them and their good traits and build on that. Do I do it all the time? No, but I try. I need that every once in a while, I’m not perfect but I’m sure I have some unique qualities worthy to be praised and instead what I am presented constantly is what I don’t have or can’t give at this time. One thing is for sure; if we don’t have our life together navigating through it becomes rough.