Awaken by Force

6 12 2008


Lately it seems that a week does not go by without some kind of drama or situation to deal with. It comes from all angles; personal, emotional, financial, parenting and relational. It feels like a battle ground and no matter how sure I am that all will get back to normal, it only takes a few days for the next attack. I never know from where or to whom it is going to be next so I am forced to be alert and suspicious of everything and everyone. I have come to believe this is a spiritual attack, one that is working hard to destroy everything we are and have.

I feel hanging by a thread sometimes but that thread is God and it is stronger than anything I can imagine. The thoughts on unworthiness comes to mind from time to time but I recognize it as part of the attack itself trying to keep me down feeling like all will lost anyhow so I try to refocus the thoughts and feelings in the midst of confusion and agony. One thing that amazes me is the calm that prevails within even if it is in the most obscure corner of my soul, it lingers. I know that there are many circumstances I can not control and because of it there is reason to despair. Like in the battleground, I need to asses the enemy and the terrain, be alert, know my weapons and deal with the attack as it unfolds before me. My main goal is to survive and to protect those around me, on the same token, I can not do much for those around me who decide to do something foolish exposing themselves to the imminent danger. It is not easy to see them fall and most of all I fear the long term effect of their injuries, but like I said, there are certain circumstances I have no control over and one of them is someone else free will.

I wonder how other people deal with spiritual battles or if they even believe in one but I come to realize that that they are so real.

Clary Lopez, author of Simplicity, Richness of Life