Standing Strong on Your Convictions

2 12 2008

For the longest time I worried about what others want and expect from me, in the process I did things I later on regretted and on other occasions I didn’t do what I was supposed to do. Either way I was not honoring my convictions and at the end a strong regret and resentment built up inside of me.

Today I’m trying to honor my convictions, sometimes people get upset but at the end they understand. I said I’m trying because it is a process, sometimes a slow process to move in the direction my instinct its telling me to move. I had to develop a way to connect within and unearth the layers covering the essence of who I am. It is not always a pretty picture but its me nonetheless and I have to get used to see it on a daily basis. At this time I also know my human limitations and to accept that I can’t be everything to everyone, this is hard one for me. I try to be the most for my children who at this point they are making their own way as they try to discover who they are and their place in this world. I know this is a good thing, that is the main reason I raised them the way I did, in order to one day become individuals and to contribute to society, the world and God. I believe my work is done and at this point I am just there to guide and support as needed even though I still struggle with wanting to direct.

As I continue to grow and learn how to live my individuality in a society which tends to demand that you stay as part of it in order not to upset the whole, I am finding new ways to stay close to what is dear to me. I believe that each one of us is called to be the best that we can be in order to be able to share and integrate into society and make it a better place for all.