A Mid-Life Opportunity

21 10 2008

I wonder why we tend to be negative about change and transformations, we call it “crisis” and mistakenly many of us accept it as something that should not be happening at all until it happens to us. Change is inevitable and the resistance we create for ourselves and the pressure we receive from others to remain the same it’s what creates the crisis.

In Mid-Life Transformations I read a very clear explanation or what the process is all about. A lot of us runaway from being labeled to be having a mid-life crisis thinking that this is something that happens only to old people but studies have shown that it could start anywhere from 37-50 years old, and it could be sooner or later within that age range. So to me is no longer about age but about a stage in my life when I’m called to put everything -Body, Mind and Soul- in order to be able to be transformed.

Opportunities come in many shapes and forms but the main ingredient is that it challenges us to make changes in order to seize them. We not only look at our abilities but we also look at what is holding us back from moving forward. Sometimes it is our past experiences that have held us prisoner from our own potential in life and at this point is when we are urged to resolve them. Breaking free is not always easy or painless. we need to embrace the difficulties and the pain, if we don’t we might never go through this process.

Just as the caterpillar goes through different stages until reaching total transformation into a unique and beautiful butterfly, we also go through stages, but for some reason this particular stage is not well accepted or supported in order to help us get the most out of it. I believe that is why mishandling the process destroy so many relationships when if properly viewed it could become the beginning of something better. I have been reading about this topic for years from different points of views; psychologists, therapists, life coaches, etc. but I noticed that there is nothing about this stage in my Catholic spiritual resources, at least I haven’t found it. I need to include the spiritual dimension of this process and I don’t want to get lost in all the changes that are taking place.

Another characteristic of this transformation period is the increasing need to be alone, but not lonely. The reason we want to be alone is because not everyone around us is in the same stage we are and because they don’t understanding it they try to prevent us from going into our great journey. The process of transformation is in motion, we have nothing to do with it, it doesn’t begin at will and therefore the best way to handle it is going towards where it wants to takes us.

One of the most difficult things about this whole process is that we don’t know the final result of this transformation ahead of time. In effect we will be a new creation born of our own individual experiences, desires, dreams, goals and talents. I guess that’s why it is so difficult for society to accept; because there is no set pattern, age group, and outcome. Each person has to forge their own path and overcome their obstacles on their journey to become someone new, mostly without any support. I feel this should change. We can’t continue letting people go through this important stage alone, lost and guilty just because we can’t understand it fully. It is a beautiful and powerful stage, one where we will finally arrive to our own ground, Truthful Ground*, one that will help us live more significantly in this world.

* Truthful Ground is the title of my next book. No publication date has been announced yet.



7 responses

21 10 2008
A Mid-Life Opportunity | jdTVu

[…] yoonais wrote an interesting post today on […]

21 10 2008

This is a great article on transformations and the mid-life crisis. it is a very positive outlook. You explain it very well and give others (the readers) a very positive point of view to relate to. Now I know why you are fit for the role you have set for yourself — helping writers help themselves.

More power to you.

Let me know if I can be of help…it whatever way.



23 10 2008

Thanks for this great post Clary! I have read through several times and pondered the words in my heart.

Yes, you are quite right about others around us not understanding our transformation. And at times we also do not understand others as they change.

Many times the transformations in life simply take us along a different path, or reflect a new level of maturity. For instance, a 12 year old girl who no longer wishes to play with dolls with her 8 year old sister anymore because the elder is maturing and has new interests that the younger does not yet share.

Sometimes the transformation is a spiritual awakening, or a conversion. Consider Saul of Tarsus, a Pharisee of the Jewish faith who converted to Christianity and became Paul the Apostle (St. Paul). His transformation was not accepted well by the Jewish community, nor was he accepted at first by the Christian community. He even states that he removed himself for 3 years to Arabia. (Acts chapter 9, Galatians chapters 1-2.)

I am currently reflecting on where I have been and those things which I have learned. Some are seemingly contradictory. How to reconcile and forge forward? Realizing that change must come, and trying to define who I am to best face that change accurately describes the present situation.

Still dwelling on your encouraging and guiding words!

23 10 2008
Bill Howdle

I also have read and reread this post. It is wonderful getting me thinking of so many things in my own life. I am in the midst of several transformations it seems.
Please let me know when you new book is out.
Thank you for sharing this

23 10 2008

Thank you so much for all your comments. In response I will have to say that are certain things in our life that we can’t reconcile, just grab the lesson it taught you at the same time that it probably sent you into a certain path in your life. There comes a time in life when we are able to stand fully connected to our essence and God and we are able to move forward in that strength. I believe that is the time when we know for sure who we are and our mission in life and we are empowered to see it to completion.

25 10 2008

beautifully put my dear friend~c

30 10 2008

Fascinating viewpoint!

Having been through a number of Mid- and Late-Mid-life “crises” (from a Greek root meaning decision point), I’m enamoured of this transformation process.

Wouldn’t have missed it for the world–would have missed the world if I’d sunned it…

~ Alex from Our Evolution

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