Learning to Accept Reality

12 06 2008

by the river

We tend to hope and dream to reach for what make us enthusiastic about life again. There is a fine line between reaching out for what we think we want in our life and fighting with our heart to make it happen. Not everything we want is meant to be. There comes a time when we need to accept the reality that we have to let the dream go, is not easy, especially when you have put some much time and dedication into it.

In dealing with people if you don’t find the other person receptive to what you want to accomplish, in time you will have to let it go and move on. The only person you can control is yourself. I know well how we can contemplate what evolves right in front of us which let us know it is not going to work out and yet we keep justifying everything in order to continue on. Other times we think that it will change but the reality is that just like the mule decides that is not moving anymore so it is sometimes with our situations, we are stuck and that’s just the way it is; unless we dismount and decide to walk or get on another animal we are not going anywhere.

I’m not advocating to give up too quick and easily because there are times when we need to work around a situation in order to make it work but there are times when you know deep inside it is over.

Challenges, failures, fears and disappointments inevitably change and mold us in ways we sometimes wish it didn’t, but in the long run we can utilize the lessons learned to make it work the next time around. In business we learn what doesn’t work and that help us to be more creative in our approach, delivery and execution of our ideas. We need to be intune to our inner wisdom, our intuition, that innate connection we have with the Divine (God), it takes time to develop and dedication to keep it fluid within us but it is what ultimately will guide us in the right direction.

One thing I need to learn personally is to take with me all the positive I received from a situation even if it didn’t work out. There is always something good. Instead of focusing on the negative I need to keep looking at the little nuggets of wisdom I managed to dig out in the journey. Then I need to learn to push the negative far away from my mind and heart, holding on to it will only spoil the next situation I will need to deal with in my life. Trust me, this last one is easier said than done.

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Clary Lopez, author of Simplicity, Richness of Life


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17 responses

12 06 2008
arthenn

Clary, there is so much thought here. I’ve read this over three times now, the reality of this piece strikes accord, as I’m sure it does with most all of us.

This is an informative write from a wonderful soul that also struggles. You are such a gift to all of us.

I like what you say about taking the positive and pushing the negative aside to get on with reality. How easy it is for us all to want to give up.

I wonder? what you have brought to light in my understanding is that we need the negative to open our minds and hearts to the positive that hides behind that negative we feel at the moment of wanting to give up.

Only to find that there is another crossroad to travel like the length of a battery. The space in time of the life of that battery between the positive and negative as our emotions will drain us running into another negative state of mind. Only then, by the lessons of our previous charge will we learn to push that negative aside not getting to burned out to want to quit.

Does this make any sense…LOL

Good Write Clary!

You my dear friend have added an additional charge to this battery of mine by writing this piece.

I needed to read this>

(((Hugs)))

Art

Art

12 06 2008
clary

To put it simply, the negative is only there to help us develop what we lack I guess. It could be patience, endurance, self-control, understanding, so many things. I’m still exploring all of this and I guess we never finish learning from our experiences and challenges in life.

Thanks for your comment Art.

12 06 2008
nirveda

Be Positive..Think Negative..Act Smartly..these are the three things i’ve stuck to right from my beginning in this ‘practical’ world.Failing doesn’t matter when compared to how fast you recuperate logically from it..amn’t i right?Welcoming you to nirveda.wordpress.com.See you Ms.Clary!!

12 06 2008
Paul Maurice Martin

“One thing I need to learn personally is to take with me all the positive I received from a situation even if it didn’t work out. There is always something good. Instead of focusing on the negative I need to keep looking at the little nuggets of wisdom I managed to dig out in the journey.”

I agree, and very much like your realistic way of putting this. Situations sometimes really are hard, really don’t work out – and from there, the way to go is exactly as you describe.

Many spiritual authors/bloggers today seem to try to make the case that everything is always for the best, except for people who don’t think holistically enough, or happily enough, or from out of their bellies enough… Bad stuff can’t happen as long as you follow your bliss, make your mind/body into a whole, etc.

This is such a major denial of reality that I’d imagine that when folks with this mindset get hit by something truly difficult, it’s much more dispiriting than if they’d had a perspective that accounts for the fact that bad things often do happen to good people – including the healthy/holistic/yoga and tofu-minded!

The idea that bad things only happen to people who in some sense deserve it is one that a large segment of the (relatively fortunate portion of) humanity seems to have wanted to embrace for a long time. For example, a major reason the Book of Job was written was to counteract this notion. The “happy ending,” which undermines this message, was tacked on a few centuries later by a second author who wanted the good guy to get the good stuff he deserved…

13 06 2008
clary

Paul, that is so true. Sometimes the bad in our life doesn’t go away and we need to learn to embrace it, live and even die because of it. That’s reality to all of us, not everything works out the way we expect it. Thanks for your comment.

13 06 2008
Sherita Searcy

“Push the negative far away from my mind and heart, holding on to it will only spoil the next situation.”

My mother always told me…”what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger.” When you have reached a plateau in your routine, God has a way of rearranging your life to get you prepared for something even greater. Though the path may not be clear and holding on in the midst of a storm may seem useless..the most important thing to search for is the opportunity to BE …AGAIN. Great post Clary. Your words are helping millions. Oh…by the way, as a gift I designed a header for you. Let me know when you would like to see it. Sherita

13 06 2008
clary

“the most important thing to search for is the opportunity to BE …AGAIN.” Wow! I needed to read that, thanks Sherita.
Send me the header to: guerrilla@clarylopez.com I can’t wait to see it!!!
*HUGS*

13 06 2008
Phil I

Realistic positive goals stand a great chance of being achieved. We should never sell ourselves short nor underestimate the abilities we possess and potential within. Have a wonderful weekend Clary.

13 06 2008
Cam

Clary – This sounds hauntingly familiar….

Well written m friend.
Enjoy your 15′ of breathing.
I’m headed there soon myself.

I love you!
Cam

14 06 2008
Accept » Blog Archive » Comment on Learning to Accept Reality by Phil I

[…] Comment on Learning to Accept Reality by Phil I Realistic positive goals stand a great chance of being achieved. We should never sell ourselves short nor underestimate the abilities we possess and potential within. Have a wonderful weekend Clary. […]

17 06 2008
fryzz

A thought provoking piece – which brings to mind the line “on the threshold of a dream” – but is the dream within or without?
The only way we are touched, inside, is by our own emotional or psychological reactions (apart from physically inflicted pain I suppose – but even then – that pain is our very own) – but the key here is reactions.
I think we sleepwalk our way through life, forgetting that it is all a dream – taking place at the focal point of our consciousness – our soul – falsely attributing positive and negative values to events we wrongly believe to be outside of ourselves – when in reality – the only knowledge we ever absorb – is entirely about ourself.
Our fears are based on the presumption of how we will react – and so is our anticipation of pleasure – and we allocate our values – positive, negative – accordingly.
Perhaps we should try and discover – as exists in electricity – a neutral – la belle indifference.

17 06 2008
ellumbra

A thought provoking piece – which brings to mind the line “on the threshold of a dream” – but is the dream within or without?
The only way we are touched, inside, is by our own emotional or psychological reactions (apart from physically inflicted pain I suppose – but even then – that pain is our very own) – but the key here is reactions.
I think we sleepwalk our way through life, forgetting that it is all a dream – taking place at the focal point of our consciousness – our soul – falsely attributing positive and negative values to events we wrongly believe to be outside of ourselves – when in reality – the only knowledge we ever absorb – is entirely about ourself.
Our fears are based on the presumption of how we will react – and so is our anticipation of pleasure – and we allocate our values – positive, negative – accordingly.
Perhaps we should try and discover – as exists in electricity – a neutral – la belle indifference.

24 06 2008
Julie

I loved this.
My children are growing up and moving away. This is a most painful reality that is life and I must accept. Thanks
Julie

14 07 2009
swissknifev

Sometimes I wonder why we human beings think so much about negative and positive. There are millions of books on it. And millions to come. It means there’s a flaw in the concept. That picture on this post is beautiful – the lake, the city skyline and how many suns have risen or set? Are there thousands of advices on sunsets? They are perfect, that’s why no one writes about them except for poems, songs and paintings. Just imagine a little bird that’s lost its mate and cries for it. What positive and negative thinking is there? The soldier who sees his buddies dead in war and loses a hand is still ready to go back and fight? What positive and negative thinking is there.
It is something that’s THERE. We’ll have to solve it like a wolf hunting for food to feed its pups…

20 07 2009
sunshine

Negativity can sometimes push us away from our dreams. Well I guess, I’ve encountered a lot of failures and fears, but these things made me even stronger. There’s a point in time that I was drowned, but then I realize that I shouldn’t stop, I shouldn’t give up. I started to swim, and explore the world. In other words, I realize that I should hold on with my dreams. I shouldn’t let that failure beat me up. Now, my thought on reality is, “If something closes, something better will be opened”. 😉

Keep posting great stuffs! Will bookmark this 🙂

20 07 2009
swissknifev

Negativity is male. positivity is female. Once a person is strong to accept negativity then…. The female is easier to handle – negativty

27 01 2010
Ashish

Amazing thoughts!!!

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