A Thing or Two about Expectations

17 04 2008

Expectation is the root of all heartache.” -William Shakespeare

Now, expectation is one of the things I need to get rid of. By experience it has dissapointed me sooo many times. Shakespeare did an excellent job at describing it for us and today I’m feeling the heartache. Why should I or anyone have to go through such pain, and for what? It seems to me that when you don’t care as much as to expect anything you are much better of. Expecting too much too soon is one of the problems, according to an article on WebMed, but drawing the line is what becomes difficult.

Some people come to me asking for advice or to share their bad experiences and I’m not sure what to say half the time. Each one of us need to make a decision not to let our past interfere with our present but unfortunately the past changed us. With every experience we start molding our future even though if we try hard enough we can turn it around. I guess the fear lies on putting ourselves at risk to yet another disappointment which brings me back to expectations. We get disappointed when we expect something specific from the other person.

Expectations should be something we impose on nobody but ourselves, and even then, we need to be careful what to expect. It help us move towards our dreams and goals. It should be something we shoot for, not a definite target. “Shoot for the moon, the worst it could happen is that you land among the stars” and excellent illustration, one I try to remember.

In dealing with others we need to get to know them in order to encourage them along the way. It is ultimately about finding a way to create a trusting environment for the other to move along their own self-development process.

So I will close my eyes and reflect on where I am right now and what I need and look no further than within. If I look outside myself I’m sure I won’t rely on anything that will provide me lasting peace and satisfaction. I will find it inside and then share it and who knows, maybe I’ll be surprised with the effects it will have in my life.

Clary Lopez, author of Simplicity, Richness of Life



5 responses

17 04 2008

Great quote.. I’ve recently had a lot of heart ache simply because I set my expectations too high and they were not met. The only ones we should expect anything from is ourselves.

17 04 2008

“Expectations should be something we impose on nobody but ourselves, and even then, we need to be careful what to expect.”
I think we have become so conditioned to believe that people are supposed to conform to our ideals, opinions and slanted realities that we forget that we are dealing with indivual people who have a right to think and be who God created them to be. It still amazes me to this day of how much I have become someone’s expectation. This only happens when you are not sure of who you are and what principles you adhere to. Thanks for reminding me to stand in my own rite and NOT fall prey to someone else’s expectation. Great post.

18 04 2008
Jason P.

Thanks for the stop by.

I like this post – expectations, who doesn’t have them, but are they fair? To anyone? – because you state: “It seems to me that when you don’t care as much as to expect anything you are much better of[f.]”

I got to agree, that, I’ve done better expecting nothing. Once you get a ball rolling on “expecting it will work just so”, something, invariably happens to stop that. And I at least, have felt bad somehow about it.

But I will say this: when others have expectations of me, fair or not, I do feel a need to address them. Deciding whether it is out of trueness or manipulation is where I have to properly assess them.

Anyways, thanks!

18 04 2008

Sherita, thank you for your comment, I’m glad you walked away with something you can apply to your life.

Jenna, thanks for your visit and comment. Hope to see you soon.

Jason, to me expectations=dissapointments if they are imposed on someone other than ourselves. We take our chances I guess. 🙂

29 09 2009

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