Set Yourself Free

3 01 2008

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“Insanity is to behave like someone that you are not. Normality is the capacity to express your feelings. From the moment that you don’t fear to share your heart, you are a free person.” — Paulo Coelho

Sounds like an easy enough concept and yet we can complicate it according to our life experiences with our own decisions. When do we begin not acting according to who we are? When do we stop expressing our feelings? When do we begin to build our prison in order to keep hurt far away from our heart?

The moment we begin behaving like someone we are not, is the day we begin to die inside. When we stop expressing our feelings we begin to create a fantasy world in order to live our life. It comes a time when you can’t live in a made up world being someone you are not, it’s just too painful.

Fear paralyses our best intentions and the best we have to offer others in this world. Trust, sincerity and self-giving is what’s needed the most in order to be free. We can’t contain our spirit and that’s exactly what we try to do when we fend for ourselves and try to keep others away. We long to interact at a deep level but the truth of the matter is that we won’t be able to because there is a huge thick wall around us. The day we fear no more to be conquered is the day we start breaking through small holes on that wall. We can either be conquered or embraced but we would never know which would be our fate unless we become vulnerable in this process we call life.

Sharing your heart could feel like a roll-a-coaster ride, exciting and scary all at the same time. The key is to share, not surrender it. It’s to merge, not to fuse.


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6 responses

3 01 2008
Manish

Great remark!!

I think the day that we realize that we have to ‘fit in’ to the society, the day when we start measuring ourselves with the yard-stick set by the society…thats when we begin not acting according to who we are.

4 01 2008
Jason P.

In concept, I agree with the entirety of what you wrote. But for 20+ years, I have been constantly repressed into being someone I am not. People are not so accepting of “the real you” because often they don’t know what there “real self” is. When family, supposed friends and even critics shun your best natures, it becomes an overwhelming task in my humble opinion to shed whatever “Mask” we live under.

I know who I would like to be: my true self is a far, far cry from what I have been deemed to have to offer. Many, many people have stifled that. I remember at my first 10-year reunion, I was outgoing and often excited to be around people I hadn’t thought of in years. For the most part, the evening went swell.

But one woman, who has been given a ton of success in a career, and was always very popular in school (class President, cheerleader, etc.) seem to resent my behavior – to a point that I left early to avoid her. Now, she also had one trial in life: her mother was killed by her brother. And for that situation, she garners untold sympathy from others, including me.

However, she seems to feel any situation I’ve dealt with, many, many more than that one time she lost (as much as it was) is unworthy of her. (We stayed in touch for years…sometimes I (or we) could bury the hatchet.)

Point is: very, very few people really want (your) happiness. They only want you to be as content as they are. If you reach for a new perspective, or reality, or dream or fulfill some part of your natural makeup, they find ways to unnerve. She did with me.

I understand you take the half full point of view, but often the half empty side has many valid thoughts. And it is not for lack of want to be who I really am. Just people are used to the “other guy.”

Thanks for listening!!!

4 01 2008
challenger02008

I beleive that there is so much in the world that leads us in different directions. Sometimes being content with yourself is taking control of where we want to go in life and learning that living for ourselves is the greatest gift we could give. I’m not saying shell out the rest of the world but at least embrace the concepts of being content with who you are in the world. Respect these around you and overcome your fears. The world can be misleading but a true heart finds his or her own path throughout it all. Fight The Good Fight.

4 01 2008
clary

Jason,
I believe the big task of shedding the masks are when we decide to live under it for an extended period of time. Once your world is established under that it’s so hard to recreate our life. Looking at the half empty section of the cup I urge everyone to be true to themselves no matter what because otherwise you’ll never experience the freedom Paulo speaks of on his quote.

Thank you challenger02008 and Manish for your nice comments.

4 01 2008
photospoems

Clary,
This is a powerful piece. I’ve read this over and over again wanting to leave a comment, but not really knowing what to say. This really hits home with me as living in and out of my soul as I was brought up in a Christian home and then early on I wanted to live my life like my Grandfather, being his name sake. He always considered himself an atheist, (Life not existing outside of death) once your gone, your gone. This was his concept of life.

The true life he lived was out of a bottle, which made him mean. (But) being his name sake I admired him. I looked up to him, we were two peas in a pod.

I asked him to be my best man twenty-nine years ago and the night before I married my wife. we were having a deep discussion about life an all its surroundings.

I think for the first time in his life he seen himself in me as I was starting to be like him walking in his footsteps. At this time in my life I had stopped believing that there was a higher power and living life to its fullest like my Grandfather.

If you could see what my heart was feeling when he told me not to be like him, being mean to my Grandmother, wanting me to make his name a better name and treat the lady I was about to marry with respect and love her with all my might and soul.

I knew there was life in my Grandfather and he wasn’t a bad man. The bottle brought out the beast in him. I understood him better than anyone i think because we were so much alike, just many years apart.

1. Insanity ( I’ve been there more than once)
2. Normality ( I’m there every day for the most part) i think.
3. It was just a year ago I stopped fearing (Sharing my heart)

Am I free? I think so for the most part. I know the gates are unlocked, I just have to open them and walk out, letting lose of all my heart has to share and stop holding back.

There is so much more this heart of mine wants to share.

I believe we are all in our truest character when we are by ourselves.

I really like what you wrote here as a blog, It made me dig deeper within my soul.

“Trust, Sincerity and self giving is whats needed the most in order to be free”
-Clary Lopez-

This says a lot and I’m writing this down and keeping it in my wallet.

In a “Nut Shell” I think it all goes back to liking ourselves before we are able to set ourselves free. Our souls are confined until we believe, love ourselves in a way of liking ones self, being that character you normally would be if you were by yourself living in your truest character.

I also like what you said to the gentlemen above about living under the mask for awhile. I did this wanting to be like my Grandfather but my soul new different and I was not happy, liking who I was.

LOL…Clary, again I don’t know when to keep quite and keep things short. Sorry for taking up so much space.

Art

5 01 2008
clary

Thanks so much for your comment Art.

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