How to Lose Your Friends

20 11 2007


One of the most important days of my life were those I was able to be with my family and friends. The reason why we got together didn’t matter but it was on those moments in which I was able to relax, laugh and have some fun. At other times we comforted each other in our difficult moments. Their mere presence helped me reflect upon pivotal moments in my life, make decisions, get a good contact for a job, most of all I didn’t feel lonely.

I don’t know if this happens to everyone but as we begin a new life as a married couple we tend to separate ourselves from the rest of the pack. For some reason now if our friends aren’t married they are not welcomed into our world. Then we start having kids and we get so involved raising them that we forget that we have a life of our own, our life revolves around them. As the years pass by and the kids grow we notice how they little by little start needing us less and less. By the time they are teens they don’t want to know about us and we look around and we are almost alone.

Neglecting the need to interact with other adults around us because we have so much to do is a big mistake, I know, I’ve done it. I’m not a person to be on the phone with others all the time, I use a cell phone only because it comes handy for an emergency but when I’m out the door the last thing I want to hear is the phone. I prefer the occasional call, a personal e-mail or letter and the surprise visit at my home. I think about my extended family and friends constantly and wish they knew that. Many times I think about calling only to have my day go crazy and before I know it it’s too late to call. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years before I know it, then I’m ashamed to pick up the phone and call.

I’m sure that in my New Year resolutions a good dose of friends nurturing will be included. Blocking time on my busy calendar will have to take main stage in order to make it happen. I need it, I long for it and if I don’t do something about it I’m afraid I will begin to get depressed before too long.

What has been your experiences with friendships? Have you been able to hold on to old ones and develop new ones or is it hard for you? What activities do you suggest in order to get friends together on a regular basis?