Getting What You Need

16 11 2007

mother and son

Yesterday I cried. The feelings and growing need to hear or read the words I’ve been waiting for all my life are somewhere lost in the realm my reality. It’s not easy to live life trying to be what’s expected of us and even worst to please those around us, still we try and wait patiently for a response.

In our mind we imagine the other telling us what we need to hear; smiling at us, encouraging us to do continue to do good and not better, to notice our heart intentions instead of the outcome and to look deeply in our eyes and say “I’m so proud of you”, “I love you for who you are.” I need to remember this when I’m dealing with others including my kids. The lack of this positive interaction in my own family have followed me all my life. I’m still waiting to hear the words and my question is, should we tell people what we need from them? They can’t possibly read our mind or know our heart’s longing unless we tell them. There is no way another person can know us totally unless we open ourselves to them and yet it’s impossible to open up unless we feel a soul connection of some sort. There is no other explanation why we feel comfortable enough with someone to let them into our heart, and not others no matter how much they love us.

I’m devating if I should ask for what I need before is too late, life is short and I don’t want to lose the chance to know the answer to my questions. Sometimes in life we wait too long to deal with our feelings and needs thinking that we have all the time in the world when in reality we don’t. The past molded my present. If I want my life to be different, I need to change my present which will become the past that will mold my future.


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7 responses

16 11 2007
Kevin

Hi,

I loved your post. It matches my feelings exactly. I too get a longing to be loved and appreciated by the people close to me. But cannot understand how to make the person know our feelings.

Just yesterday I cried after I told my friend about my feelings and how I wanted to be appreciated. I really like this friend of mine. So I always try and appreciate her for all her good qualities. But I always long for sincere appreciation from her. Yesterday, she appreciated one of her other friends and I just snapped emotionally. I spoke to her about how I felt and that I too would like to be appreciated for the human being that I am. But she took it in the wrong sense and got upset. So I realized that we should not try to force appreciation from others. Just keep on loving and appreciating people sincerely and hope that someday we may get it in return.

16 11 2007
clary

Hi Kevin,

I realize we can’t demand love and appreciation from anyone, that should be given freely but in all relationships we should let the other know our needs. One thing I failed to do a lot is letting the other person know how I feel when they do, don’t do or say something. I learned that technique in a workshop and it helps communicate to those close to us without offending them. When you tell the person how you feel the person tends to be opened to you instead of being on guard. A good guide is to begin your conversation with I instead of You.

Thank your for sharing your experience with me.

17 11 2007
brightlightwarriornika

I completely understand and feel what you are saying. Currentyly going through what you are writting about.

Love your blog!

Lots
Love, peace and inspiration
Marie

17 11 2007
titus2woman

I loved your honest sharing here! I *try* to embody those needs and become a fulfillment of them to others. It’s probably not all that selfless~I’m just too chicken to ask! LOL! (((((HUGS))))) sandi

17 11 2007
clary

Hi Marie, I’m glad you liked the post and that you related to it. I guess to an extent we all go through the same things.

Titus2woman, I understand what you mean by being a chicken sometimes I am, but when you realize that by voicing your needs many of them are finally met you take courage to speak more often. Blessings.

17 11 2007
photospoems

Our future, hides its self
Etched in stone,
Somewhere, In our minds.

Unearthed, by the love of ones heart,
Your heart
“Clary”

Binding unearthed words
Of another’s soul

Breaking this mold, words written in stone
Leading my soul out of the past
Into the present
For the future to read

We can not read minds
But we can feel each others emotions,
Words unspoken, that which
Is written in poems
Expressions of feelings and love
Showing one another
Words of true love,
Love derived from
Friendship

Love explained in so many ways
Just by reading in between the lines

Arthur Henn

Yes life is short, very short and we don’t say “I Love You” enough. We all take life for granted. I’m very guilty. and I don’t say “I Love You” enough to all those I love.

I know, for the most part we all know what one feels about those that are close, but we never know when we step out the door if we will see them again.

Yes we have to tell each other what we all feel. Its important. Before I was a Christian man, many people where concerned with my lifestyle because I didn’t walk the Christian walk and I had the tough guy attitude which was instilled by my nature of wanting to become a boxer…lol.

Taking on all the bouts I could that no one else wanted. But I would always hear them tell me “Art…You have such a good heart”
Laughing typing this. I really liked hearing that over hearing how tough they thought I was.

What I’m trying to say…If its in our hearts to ((Hug)) and tell someone we love them…Lets do it. Life is too short.

Clary ((Hugs)) and “I Love You”

I love all of you…Art

26 11 2007
Begin to Get What You Need « Clary Lopez’ Blog

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