When Actions Speak Louder than Words

6 11 2007

I’m still trying to get over this issue, I guess we all go through it. The number of times I go through this experience doesn’t help me let go of the bad feelings.

When actions speak louder than words I am in the midst of disbelief because I’ve heard the words I wanted to and still I can’t see the action to support it. I hope for that perfect situation and think that somehow someday the actions will eventually support the words, not so. Sometimes is better to go with the actions alone and forget about the words. But what do we do if we need to hear the words? Afterall that’s what communication is all about, we can’t live blind guessing what the other person feel or mean.

In Spanish we have a say: “las palabras se las lleva el viento” translation: words get carried away by the wind. It’s the action behind all of our words what changes hearts, the world, ideas, impact someone’s life and most of all how we express our love for one another.

It’s true that we take a risk when we act upon our words and perhaps that’s why so many people prefer not to and hide behind a curtain of beautiful words in order to have others peek in at them and never let them in. I believe it is a way to protect themselves from further hurt in their life and relationships. But what kind of life are they going to live if they are always behind a wall?

Finding a balance between word and action is a must and one I want to learn to utilize in wider ways as I continue to grow as an individual. I’m sure I’ll be hurt a few times along the way while I meet people who doesn’t deserve my time, love and attention, but I’ll be alive and feel open to what life has to offer.

Comments: (from another blog)

Breathe in deep…hold… close your eyes, put all that “stuff” into your breath… now, let it out…slow…. and feel it all go right out with your breath! HUGS! You’re awesome Clary! I’m very honored to have you as a friend!

Thursday September 27, 2007 – 09:29am (EDT)

MOVED… i had a recent experience where i felt someone was manipulating me and kicking me when i was down and i still have this feeling whenever i happen to run across them, mostly because they WERE! lol but i guess the point i am trying to make is that when you cant find a balance between action and words it makes being open quite difficult, and sometimes i have let that cary over into places it shouldnt. its tough letting go for me. i am, to the depth of my characture, a good human being, and i am just blown away when i am caught off guard when some other people are not. i wish i could do that prfound budda thing about living in the moment and not looking back, but let’s face it, i’d be a BAD buddist!

Thursday September 27, 2007 – 07:29am (PDT)

GG – … Thanks for you comment DOC, I need to learn to do that and disconnect I guess.

Super, I’ve found myself in the same place you are; at the difficulty to open up. I’m learning to slowly open up again and of course what I was afraid of, happens many times in life but at the same time it let’s me see that not all is bad. I guess you learn to choose better the next time around, be it people, friends, projects or endeavours. The more you know the more you can do. We can’t be paralyzed at the fact that something might not turn out the way we expected. Perhaps there is a better way or is just plain not meant to be or not meant to be right now. Whatever it is we need to accept it and be as honest and truthful to ourselves as we can. Thanks for sharing your experience.

Thursday September 27, 2007 – 10:46am (EDT)

M.K–… I have trained myself to say or think about something and follow through it with action.Without words sometimes,there is nothing to act on.Visualize what it is,and then follow through with your actions.That works for me,great blog

Thursday September 27, 2007 – 09:59am (CDT)

Ransom Hey dear!!! Christ taught that what is important most of all was the intent, the motive in our hearts, not so much the words or the actions but the motive behind them which is very hard for us to discern in other people except by feelings inside of us telling us something is amiss. Of course actions and words are both important, but what is the reason behind what is being said or done? Is it to honor us as fellow human beings or to manipulate us instead?

Thursday September 27, 2007 – 02:15pm (EDT)

Just … hello my friend…you have to feel to be alive and in order to feel you have to move forward and take chances with new experiences. Sometimes this provides long or short term happiness and always it provides lessons. Actions and words have a balance as well as risks and rewards. words are short-lived except for written history. Actions live on. Nice blog. Thanks for sharing your feelings.

Thursday September 27, 2007 – 01:19pm (CDT)

Deant… I’ve always taken people at their actions because words can echo empty. It’s what you do that speaks for who you are…

Thursday September 27, 2007 – 02:19pm (EDT)

Steve… I think that sometimes communication can become jumbled. One person said one thing, and for whatever reason, the receiver of the message interpreted it differently than what was meant. This happens a lot on a medium like 360 as well as in 3D. Yes, a person’s actions are more important than words or promises. My advice is in the beginning, give the other person the benefit of the doubt. As time goes on…clarify what is being said first, then watch the action. If the two don’t jive, then either the listener has misunderstood what was said, or the the words no longer have meaning.

People will always disappoint us. Even our closest friends will at one point or another let us down. Keeping this in mind, its good to love as much as we can, because if we love someone in spite of their weakness, then we truly do love them, and are not dependent on how they make us feel. (I posted before on this blog, but it’s not here anymore…don’t know what happened).

Thursday September 27, 2007 – 02:11pm (CDT)

Angel… People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled , their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

words come from the heart and soul…

Thursday September 27, 2007 – 01:10pm (PDT)

[dele… I agree with what you say. However lately, I consider whether I am wasting my Time with people in my life because it doesn’t make a difference what I say or do. I seriously wonder Why do I bother? I’m always right and yet they don’t listen. And every time they see I am and yet they still insist on not stopping to think and take themselves more seriously and the subject matter. Some days I just want to disappear and I don’t say that as is typically understood, it’s not a bad sign coming from me or anything. I just really seem to be losing my passion for life and living and people. I don’t know. I guess God will let me know whenever he decides.

Thursday September 27, 2007 – 02:07pm (PDT)

[dele… I think what it comes down to is I question What has meaning anymore in this world? And I don’t want any part of it, I find.

Thursday September 27, 2007 – 02:11pm (PDT)

Lynne… You will always hide behind words to some extent, and sometimes you will find yourself betraying your own purpose. We all have. As much as we decide not to, we will again and again. After all, we need enough barriers to keep from being overwhelmed by the less scrupulous. You have made a decision to widen that interface a little more, not all the way. Otherwise you would be more than a little hurt. You might even end up dead and not having accomplished what you had set out to do.

And you are doing it with the same principle of “sowing and reaping.” By sowing in action you will reap the same, and eventually in greater quantity than you sowed in the beginning. By demonstrating in action, you will find more returning in kind…but never from all.

Thursday September 27, 2007 – 02:27pm (PDT)

ღlove… actions should always support the word, and that’s how it should be. and if not, well we need to give chances. for the effort of that “word”??? rather than nothing at all. that also shows he/she cares. for me, i don’t expect much and so that won’t hurt me. the thing is, we still have to analize the situation. or how we feel towards the guy. getting hurt will always be there. and we just have to be smart facing whatever it is. well, thanks friend… i do appreciate this blog and read others comments too, in a way can help. take care XxX

Friday September 28, 2007 – 07:42am (CST)

Dave Offline I’m getting to a point where I’m almost giving up on words. I read, I sit zazen, I actualize what is in my head after meditation, and I work. What more is needed. Most people that I’ve met on 360 either know, or pretend to know more than me, so what do my words accomplish. I’m reading Brad Warner’s book “Sit Down and Shut Up” and finding it to be pretty good advice.

Thursday September 27, 2007 – 05:30pm (PDT)

Micha… Wonderful and poignant,Clary! Coming from a background of recovery from substance abuse, I have had to make sure that it is my actions that do their own speaking…”walk my talk.” As a result, the instances of confusion and doubt my words have sown in the minds and hearts of those I claim to love has lessened to a degree where I seem to enjoy truer friendships and more intimate relationships because their is no longer such a huge dichotomy between what I said and what I actually did.
A close friend said something that makes a lot of sense to me: “I would rather hear an ugly truth than listen to a pretty lie.”
What do you think?

Thursday September 27, 2007 – 06:02pm (AKDT)

Initi… Great point Clary, and I always say “walk the talk”. As to say something and for it to just be merely words and utterences is a denial of a representation of self. Therefore, the truth and honesty of a person is never born. It lays dormant.

Thursday September 27, 2007 – 07:41pm (PDT)

Photo… This hits home here on my turf. Ive been writing poems for a year or less now. The words I weave into a poem comes from my heart and they are my true self, put on paper, my inner being.

To this day my wife after twenty-nine years of marriage still has a hard time reading my poems because she has seen something different on the out side than what come from the inside.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not abusive or anything like that I’m just still rough around the edges.

If you knew me in person, I’m a likable person but you would not believe that I write the poems I do. Lets just say that I’m still trying to learn how to walk the walk in the footprints of talking the talk.

I use to box (Amateur)boxing in high school and I have carried on the edge of the tiger…Eye Of The Tiger…and my temperament can get fired up outside in the real world once in a while. Am I making any sense of what I’m trying to say…lol

Its not easy reaching inside of this soul of mine and cloth this outer body of mine with the softness of the words I put on paper. Its an ongoing process and I’m getting better at walking the walk instead of talking the talk…Putting my words into action.


Friday September 28, 2007 – 07:59pm



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