The Quest for an Authentic Life

I found a little gem of a book called Beachcombing at Miramar; The Quest for an Authentic Life, it didn’t take me long to read it and soon after I found myself re-reading again. Today I took it from the bookshelf, this time is completely highlighted and I just thumbed through some key passages. “Once we possess another creature, we alter forever the inherent nature of that creature.” The only person we truly possess is ourself, it is our duty to know, develop and share our nature with others.

In my life trajectory so far I have been a daughter, a friend, a girlfriend, a wife, and a mother. Some of these relationships put me on a rite of passage; a life transition. Transitions are never easy, it involves recreating and shedding parts of our former life in order to make room for the new and that can be painful at times. It’s a renewal of the mind, an awakening of the soul. I would say that among all the different transitions one of the most important is the one we go through to live an authentic life. Life is not worth living if we are not living our truth, we become truly lifeless.

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Clary Lopez, author of Simplicity, Richness of Life

Disappointments

“Disappointments are to the soul what a thunderstorm is to the air.” - Friedrich Schiller

What value does disappointments hold in our life?
To me to be disappointed is to get something other than what I expected, but why should I expect anything at all? There is no way for me to know what another person is going to do, say or feel all I can do is accept or not what is offered to me.

I believe we should have goals in life and work towards them the best we can but the outcome could be so many things and we need to work with what it becomes. There are many routes to the same destination and different vehicles we can utilize to get to where we want to go, each person will pick the one suited to them. To be disappointed on someone just because they are not moving along at the speed and manner you can understand doesn’t mean that person is never going to make it. Judging never brings the best out in people but love and patience does. We all want to be the best that we can be but unfortunately not everyone can appreciate our struggles and efforts as we try to accomplish the task.

Moving along what life has to offer -or take from us- is part of the rewards and challenges we need to face. When there is nothing in our power to change our circumstances it is best to work with what we have. Going into despair is to give away our power and we become defenseless.

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Clary Lopez, author of Simplicity, Richness of Life

Getting to Know Me

“They don’t know me at all” , I’ve heard this so many times.

We all need to be known and acknowledge, it is a way of validating who we are, but many times others don’t get to know the real us to begin with. Thinking about this fact I began to think the reasons why this happens and realized that whenever I fail to put effort in getting to know someone, they also fail to know me. It is our interest for other individuals that put us at ease to reveal who we truly are and it shows with more than words, the true essence of our spirit. When we open ourselves to receive someone they also tend to open up to give in response, and in that interchange that we get to know each other.

When dealing with people who had drama or bad experiences in life we need to be careful not to be righteous and judgemental, the person will completely close the line of communications if we do. Fear of yet another rejection or disregard is their defense mechanism in order to survive. By looking at their strengths and not their weakness we can help them rise above our expectations, but it really shouldn’t be about what we want FROM them but what we want FOR them. I can tell you by experience that whenever I think of them and not me I get so much more in return; physically, mentally and spiritually.

So here is the concept; if you want people to know you, take the time to get to know them. Trust is what open ourselves to another. We can’t gain trust if we don’t learn how to embrace someone else first.

Clary Lopez, author of Simplicity, Richness of Life

The “I Need a Friend” Project

How many times have you found yourself in a difficult situation with nobody to turn to?

Then you might be interested in participating on this project called
“I Need a Friend”

Find out how to participate and get the support and help you need from people who are willing to share their advice and personal knowledge with others in need. Our physical, emotional and spiritual health depends on how well we process our daily experiences and how we face challenges and problems in our life. Don’t wait another day. Talk to a friend.

Straight to the Heart

The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart. –Maya Angelou

Way before we can touch anyone’s heart we need to be able to touch our own, buried many times under life everyday pressures, responsabilities, goals and dreams. Taking time everyday to see where you are; physically, mentally and spiritually is important in order to mantain a balance. I know by experience how life can get far away from our intended vision, we drift to so many activities that has nothing to do with the path we wanted to travel that sometimes we find ourselves lost. As a woman we many times tend to give way more than we receive and then we forget to nurture ourselves in order not to let our well run dry. It is a difficult task to keep ourselves in the picture of our life and yet if we don’t it comes a point when we feel we have ceased to exist. Yes, we are here physically but our essence, our uniqueness, our gifts and talents have been pushed to the side in order to provide support and nourishment to the inmediate need at hand.

Perhaps that is what we are called to do at a certain stage of our life but then comes a time for things to come. Coming to terms to the realization is not easy for many people, especially to those around us, who only see it as a threat to their “balance” in life.

I guess the soul is not content until it is able to do what it was created to accomplish to begin with. There is a nagging sensation to move on and complete its mission.To become what it is on its own and then be shared with those we love. To be free to move around and do its work. Ultimately to be cherished and appreciated for what it is and not for what we pretend it to be.

Have you noticed how different dead people look from when they were alive? Their soul departs from the body and changes its complete outlook. I believe that to a point the same happen to us when we hindred our soul in any way. The more we suppress its nature and block its work the more it shows on the outside. My grandmother was a different person while my granfather was alive, she kept the necessary balance and peace by restraining her very soul, I believe. When he passed away she blossomed into a new creature, one I didn’t know. I was able to talk to her more and she was free to speak her mind. She even looked younger and lived many years enjoying her kids, grankids and great-grandkids. I called her the travelling grandma because every six months she was off somewhere to meet extended family members. I used to call and write to her frequently and let her know how much I loved her. One thing she never did was complain about any physical illness even if she had it, only my aunt who lived with her would know about it but only when it got too hard for her to handle.

I’m reaching deep within right now, hoping to have something to offer those around me. I want it to be pure, sincere and full of emotion. It will be the only way to let the grace flow and let a beautiful transformation take place. I’ve done as much as I can for now but there are new tasks, new goals, new vision and the great call to my personal mission whatever that might be. I know in time it will be revealed to me and only then I will be able to go straight to the heart.

Reality Check

“It’s been real……” a popular phrase and today is holding so much meaning. I want to be real, and to a point I have been, but this is the time I’m called to open up even more in order to grow. The first person I want to reach is myself, digging deep within allows me to know and understand what I’m all about, hence I become more real to those around me. It is in this state of mind where I come to see further than I have seen before.

A Sure Way to Grow

“Our trials, our sorrows, and our grieves develop us.” –Orison Sweet Marden

I remember a time when I wanted to be older, I envisioned it to be my ticket to freedom in order to do what I wanted to do, finally! How ironic, as time went by I realized that freedom is not to be able to do what I want to do but what I ought to do. Sometimes we ignore what we need to do in order to fulfill our earthly mission but we are soon reminded in the most uncomfortable ways; trials, sorrows, grief, sickness, etc. Unless we are shaken we would never stop to look deep within in order to find answers to our challenges. Most of us like to enjoy life without having to deal with pain and sorrow but it is in that pain and sorrow that our true self is revealed maybe for the first time even to us. In most cases is not a pretty picture, it is our being torned by past experiences, wounded, weak, sensitive to the most minimal criticism from those around us. It is not who we want to be or who we are at the moment but somehow others can’t forget our past.

As we enter dark moments in our life we are forced to be guided by others things other than our regular vision. Our emotions, our instincts, our faith and our soul needs to come into play in order to find a way out of our immediate misery. Accustomed to live on the flesh disregarding the soul will make this experience difficult. Trying to get away from the dark quick will also produce painful sensations since our whole being is calling us to experience and change at a certain level before we step away from it transformed. Like I mentioned before changes are not easy to make specially when we are uncertained of the outcome, that’s where faith comes in. Trusting that our trial has a reason for being and a purpose for our life and well being.

Truth has a way to make itself known. Inner peace is only achieved through a balance within, it is the satisfaction to know that our intention and our purpose is fully aligned to our individual persona. We can’t live our life under someone’s goals, values and intentions. Personal growth is an individual process calling us to put everything and everyone aside in order to be true to our self and our destiny. Failing to become individuals we slowly extinguished the very light we are called to let shine for the world to see. If we cover it, nobody will know it existed. One of the most painful experiences is to know that we are unknown to those around us, they are quick to see our faults and not our virtues. Another painful experience is to have hidden our individuality so well from those around us -in order not to disturb their life- than when it finally emerges it is rejected and their love and support is withdrawn from us.

I wonder what life would be if we decide to stay forever in our dark night just to keep the peace of those around us while the war continues inside of us. I don’t believe is possible to deny what it clamors for; transformation. To negate to go beyond what we know for sure is only denying the great possibilities God has in store for us.

Music & Sight

For longer than I can remember I’ve been wanting to visit Greece, specially Santorini. I don’t know what this place has but everytime I look at pictures I’m transported to a place of tranquility within.

The last few days have been difficult and tense. Music always have a positive effect on me, too bad I tend to forget and keep going with the day to day responsabilities and don’t make time to listen regularly. Yanni’s music tunes vibrates inside in such a way that the mental tension just melts away. It’s amazing. Music with lyrics don’t make the same impact. So yesterday I sat on the floor in front of my stereo, my eyes closed and listened to this whole concert on high volume. I let every note resonate inside me and that helped me tremendously.

What helps you keep balanced and relaxed?

You can’t give what you don’t have!

“If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you won’t be very good at loving any one else.” This is how an article on BAW begins and it is so true.

In life and in love we many times think that our life is difficult because we can’t get what we need when in reality it is us who need to give ourselves what we need first and then give that to someone else. Unless we are able to give and take, our life slowly becomes one of the most difficult things to manage as the times goes by.

Our bad and good experiences opens or closes our heart to others depending on our reaction. We need to understand that most of the time when we have a bad experience it is not because we haven’t give it our all, it is because the other person perhaps didn’t know how to accept what was given to them. On the other hand sometimes we can’t give our all because the other person is not completely opened to our sensitivities, they love us but at the same time they keep reminding us of how short we come to meet “their standards.” And yet there are other times in which we are so amazed at what is offered to us that we feel unworthy and run away from it.

We are who we are, not what we have done, nobody is perfect and is best to keep on looking for ways to live better today than we have in the past. As we look to develop new relationships and renew old ones we should be clear about who we are and show them. They should accept us for who we are. At this point in my life nothing less will do.

If you want to read a step by step of what you should do to insure you love yourself first, go here. It’s not as hard as it seems, it just requires time and attention to whom deserves it the most, YOU.