Plegaria al Mar

Contemplo el mar y lo envidio. Quisiera ser como el, reflejando el cielo azul que lo techa, ser movida por el viento y acariciar la tibia arena cual dulce beso en la mejilla. Ser banada por los rayos del sol y los destellos de la luna, sumergida en el gran misterio de su profundidad.

El mar, lugar donde todo lo que fluye corre hacia el para asi alimentarlo y bendicir a todo aquel, que como yo, lo contempla. Tener la fuerza y la constancia que no disminuye con el tiempo y sirve para que otros naveguen a lugares distantes nunca antes vistos. Lleno de sabor, mezcla de todo aquello que a el se unio. Suficientemente fuerte para golpe a golpe transformar todo aquello que se resiste a el, como las rocas que segundo a segundo toca; sin excusas, sin razones o explicaciones. El baila libremente con el viento, levantadose tiernamente en su vestido blanco entre sus olas, creando su propia melodia, despertando asi todos los sentidos. Logra complacer y llenar de alegria a todo aquel que lo conoce y lo sabe respetar tomando solo lo que el le quiere dar y nada mas.

Mar llevate mi tristeza y traeme mi alegria, dejala sobre la orilla a la vez que mis pies pisan la arena que vienes a besar. Llevate las lagrimas y sana mis heridas a la vez que me sumerjo en ti. Ensename que como tu, todo tiene un tiempo, un ritmo, un estimulo unico. Que cobras vida en varias formas y que son muchas las influencias que te hacen especial. Que todo cambia y se transforma con el tiempo pero siempre ocupas el mismo espacio y lugar. Y que antes de disminuir mas bien continuas creciendo y siendo aun mucho, mucho mas.

Clary Lopez
11 de julio, 2008

Waves of Emotions

It’s not easy to take time to reflect upon those things that are changing our life, the incertitude that lies beyond the ideas we had about our life. The people we love and that no longer are or no longer love us and the pain it causes. It is hard to come face to face to what lies within our heart to embrace what we can’t change and the feelings we must put aside for a while when we want to deal with the situation at hand. It is a matter of moving on the deep waters of our despair in order not to sink in sorrow. Emotions run through our mind and body affecting everything we do and what we will become. Seeing how our hopes and dreams quickly drown deep below the surface, buried under our survival’s pressure. It goes beyond our strength many times but a much needed exercise in patience and humility.

I move around the house, I read a book, I pray, I meditate and nothing helps me. I walk out to the beach and once on the shore I take off my sandals, sink my feet in the sand and sit right under a palm tree. The waves crash against the shore, the rocks are bathed with each one of them, sometimes barely making it over the top and others overflowing all the way to the other side. Just like my emotions at this moment, they come in waves at unpredictable times and speed and sometimes I feel they are too much for me to handle, overflowing out of my heart and erupting through my eyes, releasing some of the pain lodged deep inside.

Many words come to mind, words I wish I could speak to claim some dignity out of the situation but when the moment comes I remain silent. I don’t want to lose, I don’t want to hurt, I don’t want to cry and yet, I experience it all.

Is it possible to not be completely destroyed by emotion? Could we put aside the wounds and forget about the pain? Can we truly try one more time after being disappointed so many times? It takes courage, courage to be open to worthwhile feelings and experiences in life in order not to die inside. To die while being alive is one of the worst punishments we can choose for ourselves. Buried deep beneath the surface of our soul, crushed and silenced prisoner of sorrow. Is it a life sentence, reigning in the land of perpetual sadness? It is a quenching of all heart’s hope, the one who once was full of love, and that now has been forgotten. I speak about what human nature many times experience throughout life, changing and transforming the pure and sublime creature who believed that anything was possible when in reality few things are. I guess the key is not to look so much at what isn’t possible but to look at what is possible instead, and to fight for it to the end.

Dealing with Emotions and Circumstances

Our life is shaped by the experiences we live and how we deal with our emotions and circumstances. Two people could have the same thing happen to them and have a different outcome according to their reaction to it. One could be crushed while the other is propelled to look for new ways to overcome their situation and create something positive.

Emotions are powerful and they are meant to stir in us a sense of being alive, they move us to act. They can make us feel happy, sad, compassionate, and enthusiastic. The person who is unable to let their emotions flow is usually an unhappy individual, their emotions build up to the bursting point unto the surface of their daily life like an exploding volcano.

The way we approach challenges and changing circumstances shape the magnitude of the impact it will have on our emotions. The mind is the one that begins to form the ideas that will help us act later on to make it a reality.

In dealing with emotions and circumstances it is important to know that many times we have no control over circumstances but we can control our emotions if necessary. Because our emotions are so volatile we must know to distinguish when going with our emotions is the right thing to do. It won’t be easy at times to go against our emotions but at the end it will be the best decision we ever make in our life. To be at the mercy of our emotions is to forever be on a roll-a-coaster ride unable to get off. Getting off the ride every once in a while will give us the chance to experience a certain level of stability and them a thrill when we decide to go back on.

How do you deal with your emotions and circumstances?

Emotional Responsibility, Whose Is It?

Last night I thought of how many people feel responsible for someone else’s happiness or sadness to the point of thinking bad about themselves if they fail. True, but I would say that many times we are not responsible but we are the catalyst by what the circumstances develop in someone’s life affecting their current existence and provoking them to be happy or sad as a result. But situations of this magnitude don’t develop as a result of just one individual, but two or more and sometimes even other aspects of life take a toll on the dynamic of the situation as well; health, financial pressures and what’s happening in the world.

Looking at it from that point of view, it is unjust to believe we are the solely responsible for someone else’s happiness or sadness. Each person is in charge of themselves and it is their duty to know how to obtain and maintain their own emotional state independently from other individuals. When we are content within we attract more positive emotions in our reality.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to make someone else happy as long as we realize that it is ultimately their decision to be receptive to our efforts and their voluntary opening of their hearts to welcome the possibility to feel it. Two people can create a beautiful dynamic relationship opened to experience the many rewards it can develop, but no one person is responsible for the outcome of what it may become.

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Clary Lopez, author of Simplicity, Richness of Life

Creating Our Destiny

Destiny, some people think it is an undeniable force that propels us to what we are supposed to be in life. Not counting with our will and effort; what is meant to be, will be. I don’t believe it for a second.

In life we are presented with many different options that affects our life. These opportunities brings us potential carreers, love, our husband or wife and many other things. Not all that is presented to us become part of our reality, because in order to do so we must put some effort integrating it into our life.

I guess the best way to illustrate this is by asking you to think back on your decisions, decisions that shaped your present. Looking back you’ll clearly see what actions took you all the way to where you are right now. There is nothing we can do about the past but to learn from it, not only that, but we many have to live with the consequences of those decisions as well.

If I have learned anything in my years of living it is that we are in a constant evolution of our being. We live, we learn, we grow and continue to do so at so many different levels in our life. We perform certain tasks and responsabilities depending on the life stage we are living at the moment; son or daughter, student, worker, partner in marriage, parenting, seeing our kids leave the nest, reclaiming and recreating our nest, retiring, becoming grandparents, facing sickness and death. The reality is that we can’t be the same person throughout all those stages, we develop and utilize different gifts, talents and attitudes that will help us navigate each one them. Some people see change as a threat, they want everything to stay the same including those around them. It’s an impossibility. If we are alive and growing in any way, (physical, mental or spiritual) we are changing. Try to put a stop to our growth and we’ll only become frustated and depressed.

Destiny is something we create moment by moment as we move along the path of life. We might have taken the wrong turn many times, but then again, there are many routes to arrive at the same destination.

Learning to Accept Reality

We tend to hope and dream to reach for what make us enthusiastic about life again. There is a fine line between reaching out for what we think we want in our life and fighting with our heart to make it happen. Not everything we want is meant to be. There comes a time when we need to accept the reality that we have to let the dream go, is not easy, especially when you have put some much time and dedication into it.

In dealing with people if you don’t find the other person receptive to what you want to accomplish, in time you will have to let it go and move on. The only person you can control is yourself. I know well how we can contemplate what evolves right in front of us which let us know it is not going to work out and yet we keep justifying everything in order to continue on. Other times we think that it will change but the reality is that just like the mule decides that is not moving anymore so it is sometimes with our situations, we are stuck and that’s just the way it is; unless we dismount and decide to walk or get on another animal we are not going anywhere.

I’m not advocating to give up too quick and easily because there are times when we need to work around a situation in order to make it work but there are times when you know deep inside it is over.

Challenges, failures, fears and disappointments inevitably change and mold us in ways we sometimes wish it didn’t, but in the long run we can utilize the lessons learned to make it work the next time around. In business we learn what doesn’t work and that help us to be more creative in our approach, delivery and execution of our ideas. We need to be intune to our inner wisdom, our intuition, that innate connection we have with the Divine (God), it takes time to develop and dedication to keep it fluid within us but it is what ultimately will guide us in the right direction.

One thing I need to learn personally is to take with me all the positive I received from a situation even if it didn’t work out. There is always something good. Instead of focusing on the negative I need to keep looking at the little nuggets of wisdom I managed to dig out in the journey. Then I need to learn to push the negative far away from my mind and heart, holding on to it will only spoil the next situation I will need to deal with in my life. Trust me, this last one is easier said than done.

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Clary Lopez, author of Simplicity, Richness of Life

Not Knowing What to Do

The most difficult thing about dealing with unfamiliar terrain is not knowing what to do. In life we come up to different stages where we need to adjust and change our usual course; health, work, age, financial set backs all have an effect in our daily making decision process. It is not easy to go from the familiar to the unknown.

Anticipation to me is the worst of the emotions in situations when our life is about to change in some respect. A thousand different scenarios runs through our minds and we feel weakened by it. When the moment arrives is not as dramatic as we thought it might be, and at the same time we aren’t as weak as we thought either. We can withstand the blows that life throws at us and even if we fall we can always get up. But it is that moment of indecision that wears us down to the point of exhaustation.

Gambling in Times of Uncertainty

Uncertainty is sweeping the nation, nobody knows when the economy will improve and how to handle it until it does. Especially those young enough for this to be the first time that something like this happens to them. To me this is the second time around but by far the longest stretch of time I had to deal with it. I try to keep myself optimistic about this economic crisis but at times I feel I’m losing hope. Thank God is not enough to lose it altogether and somehow I hang on to the faith I have that it will get better. I try to keep looking at the bright side and notice what I have instead of what I don’t have. I keep hoping for a better day and working to attain new goals and dreams in my life.

Last night I was given what for many people would be bad news, a dear friend is leaving. In any other given time in the past it would have been a big blow to me emotionally but not last night. I somehow thought about him immediately, my concerns and needs were non existent. I only thought of him and what he needs at this moment. I was glad for him, it was a blessing to him to be able to make this move in his life. He was amazed at the reaction and expressed his worries in giving me the news. “I can’t think of me, I have to think of you,” it was all I could say. I heard the words and I knew they weren’t from my selfish self, it was from my spirit and my heart. By doing so I was able to accept a reality I was unable to change and found peace on the uncertainty I will find myself when he finally leaves.

Later on my dad called me excited about making one of his dreams come true. My mom asked me before she put him on the phone, “please don’t say no to your dad, he is so excited.” Never in a million years I would of thought that his dream has been one of mine for a long time; going on a cruise as a family. I think the last time we travelled together we were teenagers and we went to Disney World. Of course I was all excited until the analysis of what it will mean financially hit me and the uncertainty of how the situation will be when the time for this vacation comes, but the reservation had to be made now in order to get a good deal. Do we gamble all that money and hope we won’t have to cancel at the last minute or do we reserve and hope for the best? My dad decided to hope for the best, and I’m not surprised, he is always like that. He always gambles, takes risks and chances in life. Life is too short to worry too much about anything, everything works itself out at the end. Trust and hope are his key ingredients. So many times we stop ourselves from making our dreams come true for fear of the unknown, when in reality all we needed to do was push a little harder. I realize at the same time this opportunity will mean that I would have to make a big sacrifice, everything has a price tag and I must decide if I want to pay the price or not. It is not easy at times but we need to keep moving forward even if it is a millimeter at a time. We can’t stay stuck or we become stagnant. We need to keep our minds stimulated to think of new ways and ideas that might help change our present situation, we need to keep dreaming and even if we need to wait a little more for what we want or need to sacrifice it for the time been, to have the hope that in time it will come to be. That’s how I want to think at this moment. I won’t give up my dreams. I just will have to adjust the manner and time in which I’ll try to make them come true and hopefully it will work out at the end.

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Clary Lopez, author of Simplicity, Richness of Life

Finding a Balance

We all have moments when we feel out of control, without time, without peace, longing to find a way to make things better. Life has a way to suck us in if we are not watchful of what we do.

We can’t live life pretending that nothing matters and that everything that comes our way deserves of our time and dedication. Time is precious and our mind and soul long to spend time with things that matters, that make a difference, they are the only things that satisfied out hearts.

People dear to our heart, those with whom it is so important to communicate with should be at the top of our list. Time and distance could never destroy our true relationships with those we love. Sometimes the bond might even get stronger because they have been put to the test increasing its endurance.

What do you do when you find yourself off balance? What changes to do you make in order to gain control?

Dreaming Together

This was the last reflection given at the monastery.

It is important to remember that we are part of this world and that we only have an personal earthly mission but a collective one as well. Unity creates strength and helps us grow as individuals as well as a group with a common goal and purpose. Our accomplishments ultimately impact the world in the great scheme of things.

What are my dreams? What are yours? There is always room for improvement and for new ideas to evolve.

I dream with a world of truth and peace, where masks are unnecessary, where love and acceptance prevails, where understanding is pursued, where knowledge is desired, where we give more than we look to get, where forgiveness abounds. I dream of smiles and laughters, and having someone wipe our tears away. Most of all I dream of a communion within mind, heart and soul.