I guess it happens to the best of us, we go around life doing what we are supposed to for others and then even more if we love them. But do people tend to take for granted those attentions? I think we all do. I say we, because I’m sure I have done it at times but when it is done to me it is very hard to come up with a long line of excuses to justify the act. I try -I promise- to look the other way, to keep busy with other things, to understand that work, family, studies and everything else can come in the way but in time I have to accept that maybe I’m not being appreciated like I should.
Time to step aside, to give some room and to see what they do to demonstrate if I have a place in their life or not, that’s it. It’s not that I stop caring or loving, it’s just a moment to let things get back to normal. What I give is usually what I want to get back even though I realize it must come from their heart.
I guess all comes up to self-value myself and not be afraid to said it or expect it. When that moment comes I accept is not easy, but is even harder to stay there waiting hoping that they guess my needs. Not too many people can read minds so it is my duty to be clear and to the point, even though I also believe that at times silence can speak volumes both ways. It’s a matter of intuition and who I’m dealing with and for how long I’ve known them.
Let me tell you, outside of business calls I don’t call that many people, I can count them with only one hand. I like to dedicate myself and make relationships grow but I can’t do that with a lot of individuals, so I hand pick them. I can’t also do it if the other person don’t do the same with me, it’s a two-way street. That’s why I say that “I like to travel on a two-way street” and if it’s not I might as well get on a one-way street.
I hope you understand what I’m saying here; don’t take anyone for granted and don’t let others take you for granted either.
Amazing. I was just reflecting on what it means to have a value system and understanding how that system meshes with the rest of the world. At times, I find that I extend myself to others at the drop of a dime. Their request is high and their time is short — in these times I felt most used, rejected and dejected. Recently, I tested the “shoe on the other foot” deal and called in a favor to those persons who so heavily relied on me. When action time came you could hear birds chirping in the background. I was nothing short of amazed at this response. I am learning that people will value you as you value yourself. I guess I have to go back to the drawing board with my value system. What a joy!
“Taking others for granted” or “being taken for granted” are two realities of the same coin. We might skip someone very special at first sight; but first impression is not the lasting impression.
This is what I have learned after losing some very special people, who could transform my relationship with them in something meaningful, fulfilling and enlightening sense. They were those silent soul groups, who belong to “serving the humanity”; their appearance might not be as striking as we suppose; but their soul are more precious than diamonds and gold. For example, an 11-minute conversation with them might make us realized as if we have been graduated from the school of universe in those 11 minutes.
I do not take any one or any thing for granted. For me, these people and these thing have some meaning for me.
I learned a rule of ethics from door-to-door sales girl. She was introducing grocery products of a multinational company. When she visited our home, my mother purchased some food items from her. We had limited amount and some money was short to pay her. When my mother told this to her, she said “don’t worry, I will fill the remaining amount from my own pocket”. This act was something that really inspired me and I learned that we can learn from everyone. After that lesson I started complaining and started do with others what that sales girl did to my mother.
I appreciated this post. Gives me something to ponder. In 99.5% of my relationships I am the initiator. I am an encourager by nature so it flows out of my life. But as you say, if you stop for a pause , give some room and see whether or not you have a place …I think I want to do that and see what happens.
When the grass looks green on the other side then the grass on this side is paled. We take it for granted.